Page 30 of Holiday Scars
The sun can’t find its way past the swirl of gray clouds. It creates a washed-out light that drags you into winter kicking and screaming.
Blade never came to bed, and I half expect to see him gone in the morning. I heard what he and Dirk talked about. How everything that happened was because of Dirk. Not us. Not Blade. Regardless, I stand with my brother. Best friends are solid, but brothers are blood. Dirk’s mess is my mess. Blade owes us nothing.
To my surprise, Blade’s in the kitchen, sipping coffee in his hoodie, and scrolling on his phone. The living room smells like sawdust from Dirk cutting out the blood-soaked floorboards.
“Morning,” I say, and he grumbles a greeting in return.
Dirk and Hana are outside. It’s like she can’t be in here, or maybe she can’t look at me, knowing I killed two men. She’s also a lawyer and is struggling with her morals, I bet. She and Dirk have been together for a long time, and I trust her.
I can’t let a wall stay between us, though. I go outside. “Hana, I did what I had to do.” I look at my brother. “To protect Dirk.Andyou. Those Feds were dirty.”
“I know who they are,” she says, sounding solid for the first time in hours. “You’re right. They are dirty. You did good.” She hugs me.
Back in the kitchen, Blade tenses but doesn’t turn around. I’d almost rather he yelled.
My chest tightens, but I push it away. To keep things looking normal, we scrape by one more day here at the cabin. We go through the painful motions. Normal cleaning, burningtrash, and pretending we’re just winding down a great holiday weekend on the mountain.
Hana barely eats. Blade doesn’t look at me. Every time I catch his eyes, he looks past me like I’m a disease.
When it’s dark, Dirk stands in the doorway, car keys in hand.
“I’m taking Hana home,” he says. “She needs a break from all this. I’ll take the back roads, stay off the radar. You two stay here tonight. Let me know if someone else comes sniffing around.”
“You want to tell me who’s ordering contract killers to get those tattoos?” I challenge him.
“I honestly don’t know. But the guys who come in and ask for them are bad actors. You think the Quinlans are serious motherfuckers? These guys are on another level. Like terrorist training level. It’s why I don’t want to do those tats, touch any of these psychos.”
I nod. “Good.”
Blade wipes his hands on a towel and finally speaks. “Dirk, take Jett home, too.”
The words hit me harder than any bullet. “What?”
Dirk frowns. “He’s safer here with you, Blade.”
“I used to think so,” Blade mutters and then disappears into Dirk’s room. The place he was supposed to sleep all along.
I know this closed-off version of him. This is what he does when he’s done with someone. I’ve seen him walk away from men who would have crawled through glass for him. He shuts down, switches off, and never looks back.
Dirk sighs. “Don’t let him shut you out. You two need each other right now. Don’t pretend you don’t. You’ve both been through enough.”
My brother pulls me into a hug that almost cracks my ribs. “Take care of yourself, too. You’ve both got something special. Don’t screw it up.”
Maybe seeing us together in action, and knowing I can take care of myself, I have his blessing to be with his best friend. No more warning. But it might be all for naught. Blade’s sinking into himself. He’s shutting me out.
Dirk leads Hana out. She doesn’t look back. I get lost in the few minutes, seeing their leaving unfold. The car doors shut, the engine starts, four tires crunch leaves and twigs. In the next blink, they fade down the drive to the main road.
Just like that, it’s quiet again.
I sit on the sofa where Blade and I napped in each other’s arms, staring at my brother’s bedroom door, trying to tell myself I don’t care. That it was just a fling, just a weekend.
But the truth is screaming.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Jett
Despite the missing floorboards, everything looks calm in the light of day, like nothing ever happened here.
