Page 37 of Dual
She takes a shaky breath. "Thank you. For being patient. For understanding."
"Always," I promise, and mean it.
"I have a session with Dr. Ezra tomorrow," she says after a while. "I'll talk to him about this. Maybe he'll have some ideas."
"Whatever you need," I tell her. "I'm not going anywhere."
She tilts her head up to look at me, her eyes soft with something that makes my chest ache. "I know. That's what makes this bearable." She pauses, then adds, "I want you toknow that I don't mind. About you and Mads. I want you to have that. To have what you need."
I press my lips to her forehead, breathing in the scent of her hair. Does she think I need sex? As much as I think I understand her, I still can't tell if she's just being self-sacrificial when she tells me to sleep with her while she's Mads. "What I need isyou," I say in a way I hope she really hears. I can make do with my goddamn hand in the shower if I have to. I can't stand hurting her. "In whatever way you can be here with me."
"You have me," she whispers. "All of me. Even the parts that are still figuring things out. And you haveher.Please.Take what we can give you. It's important to me. She's part of me, too. Will you?"
Her head stays pressed against my chest, and I frown. She's so stubborn. But why is she so insistent I have sex with Mads again? Is it because she doesn't believe me when I say I can go without? Or is there some other reason I can't see?
We stay like that for a long time, wrapped in each other's arms, the morning sun spilling across the couch, painting us in warm light. There's a peace and togetherness to this moment that feels just as intimate as anything else could have been.
But even as I hold her, I feel her pulling away. And I have the gut feeling that she's keeping secrets from me.
"All right," I finally whisper. If I can't pry any secrets out of her, maybe I can get them out of Madison.
THIRTEEN
MADS
I glareat Domhnall like my lust alone could set him on fire. Can the sheer force of my need peel his skin back and expose the beast inside him? If there's a god in this depraved world, Domhnall will combust into a blaze of raw, brutal fucking need and do what he was put on this Earth to do—wreck me.
We're at Carnal, for Christ's sake. A playground for perverts. A shrine to vice. A temple where bodies are meant to be worshipped and desecrated at the same time.
And what does my sadistic, withholding bastard of a fiancé do?
He orders me a cocktail. A fucking cocktail. As if ginand citrus are an acceptable substitute for being ripped apart on one of these deliciously devious machines.
At least the decor's on point. December usually makes me want to gouge my eyes out with a candy cane, but the dildo Christmas tree behind the bar? That's a masterpiece. Each toy is a different size, shape, and color, spiraling upward in perfect harmony, their rubbery sheen catching the low lights. The star on top? A massive, comically oversized butt plug.
Now I can't stop fantasizing as my eyes trail off to a corner where a dom has his sub on her knees.
Not fair! I wantmythroat fucked until my voice is nothing but a cracked whisper and my legs refuse to hold me up!
I fucking swear. I glare back at Domhn, who's sitting comfortably beside me, chatting with his friends. I can only take so much of his sanctimonious imposed celibacy before something inside me snaps. If he doesn't fix this soon, I will fix it for him. I will tie him down in his sleep and ride his cock until I drain every last drop of him.
"So," Quinn's voice slices through my criminal fantasizing, her sharp eyes landing on me like she's been waiting for an excuse to start shit. "How's therapy with Dr. Ezra?"
This fucking cunt.
She's digging. She's always digging. She prefers Anna. Thinks she's the better half. The one who deserves Domhnall. And maybe she's right. But fuck her.
The only friendIhave isn't here tonight. Moira's been busy with her new boy toy and only pops up at the cluboccasionally, which is usually when Domhn makes us leave. He's being ridiculous about not making up with his sister, if you ask me, but it's not like anyone does around here.
I meet Quinn's gaze and flash her a saccharine smile, my voice syrup-thick with venom. "So good. Making progress."
"What kind of progress?" she presses, her lips barely twitching at the edges.
"The kind where I don't wake up screaming as much." I flick my eyes back to Domhnall, where they belong. "Unless it's my devil of a fiancé tearing the screams out of me."
God, I wish.
I stare at him. Hard. Willing him to feel it and absorb my need through his skin.
