Page 10 of Dual
Dr. Ezra scribbles something in his notebook. I hate that damn notebook. What did he write? What is he seeing that I'm not? What secret code is he cracking in the tilt of Anna's head and the line of her mouth?
"How does that feel in your body?" he asks, as if emotions can be pinned to flesh and bone.
Anna releases my hand and presses her palm flat against her chest. "Here," she murmurs. "And my head feels a little buzzy."
"Excellent," Dr. Ezra says, like she's answered correctly on some test. "You're doing excellent work."
She beams under his praise, her smile soft and real. It shouldn't twist in my chest. But it does.
I lean forward, the words spilling out before I can stop them. "But I found out Anna's been lying to me."
Her hand tightens in mine, but she doesn't flinch. "I haven't been the one... having sex with him," she supplies, her voice a brittle thread.
Dr. Ezra's eyebrows arch just a fraction. "Is that so?"
Anna nods, her gaze dropping to her lap. "I guess I switch to her as soon as it starts. It didn't seem like a big deal at first. Domhnall knew he had my blessing to be with her, so I thought it was fine. But then... he'd say something, make a joke about the night before, and I wouldn't correct him. Even though I knew it hadn't been me."
"Why wouldn't you correct him?" Dr. Ezra's pen is poisedagain, like it's waiting to catch her words. I hate that his pen will make them solid. Part of a record.Real.
Anna shrugs, small and fragile. "He looked so happy. It just seemed easier not to rock the boat. And then, by the time I realized I was switching every time... it felt too late to say anything."
Her words cut deeper than any blade.
"Anna." I grasp her hand, rubbing warmth into it, desperate to anchor her. And maybe desperate to anchor myself. "You can always talk to me. About anything. I don't ever want you to feel like you can't come to me, love."
She doesn't look up. "I know. But I already feel like such a burden. I hated to add to it."
I cup her chin, lifting her face until her eyes meet mine. "Nothing about you could ever be a burden." She flinches, but I don't let go. "You make everything in my life better. Whatever this is, we'll get through it."
"You usually switch because you're afraid of something," Dr. Ezra says gently. "Are you afraid of being intimate with Domhnall?"
Anna's head snaps toward him. "Of course not!"
"Don't answer so quickly," he says. "It's okay if you're afraid. Isn't it, Domhnall?"
I nod, because that's what I'm supposed to do. But inside, I'm unraveling. How can I live knowing the woman I love might beafraidof me? I'd sleep in another wing of the house if it meant she'd feel safe.
But every time I suggest space, she clings to me—and then she's gone, and Mads is there instead.
"She's been switching more often," I say, my voice rough. "Does that mean she's more afraid than before?"
"I'm not afraid of you!" Anna's foot stomps against the floor, a sharp punctuation.
I turn to her. "Well, that's not what your subconscious thinks, love!"
She glares at me. "Well, sometimes my subconscious is a crazy bitch!"
The words explode between us, jagged and raw. We're both breathing hard, our anger tangled with something darker.
I grab her hand again, gripping tightly. She clutches back, her eyes desperate.
Fuck, I hate this. I hate seeing her hurt. I'd give her the world if I knew how. But I don't. And that's the worst part.
I turn to Dr. Ezra, my voice ragged. "So what do we do?"
He raises a hand, calm as ever. "Be patient with the process."
Anna nods, but her shoulders are tight, bunched up like she's bracing for a storm.
