Page 13 of Dual
"The sun was golden," Mads says, her words spilling out like a river breaking its banks. "It made Domhnall's hair glow,like he was made of light. The breeze smelled like wildflowers and river water. I remember how my chest felt too small for all the feelings crammed inside it. His laugh was the best part—it made the world feel safe." Her face softens. "Like nothing bad could ever happen as long as he was laughing."
My heart twists, hearing her version.
Dr. Ezra nods thoughtfully. "Thank you, Mads. Both of you noticed different things. Anna, your observations were detailed, focused on facts. Mads, yours were vivid and emotional. Neither is wrong. They're just different perspectives of the same moment."
Anna's breathing shifts again, her face tightening.
"How does it feel to hear each other's version?" Dr. Ezra asks gently.
Anna swallows hard. "I don't know. Strange."
"What's strange about it?"
"It... feels like we weren't even at the same picnic."
"That makes sense," Dr. Ezra soothes. "But you were. You just experienced it differently. Anna, can you acknowledge Mads's feelings, even if they don't match your own?"
Anna hesitates, then whispers, "I hear you. I—" She hesitates, then tries again. "I think I have that memory of what you're saying, too. He did glow. Was it because you thought that?"
Mads doesn't say anything for a moment. "I dunno. He just looked like a god. How could you look at anything else but him?"
Dr. Ezra gently prompts, "Let's go a little deeper. Anna, can you recall another detail?"
Anna's voice is measured, a tiny frown forming between her brows. "There were ants near the corner of the blanket. I kept watching them, trying to predict their paths."
Mads's laugh is bittersweet. "I remember you being quiet, Donny, but I didn't mind. It was like you were lost in the moment. I kept thinking how beautiful you looked, like you were part of the landscape. Like the river curved around you on purpose."
Anna's brow furrows deeper. "I wasn't thinking about that. I was just trying to avoid getting bitten."
Dr. Ezra nods. "Notice how your perspectives fill in different parts of the picture. Anna, can you reflect on Mads's feelings without needing to correct them?"
Anna's lips press thin, then she sighs softly. "I hear that you felt that way. Even if it wasn't my experience."
Mads mutters, "Fucking ants? Seriously?"
Dr. Ezra encourages, "One more round. Anna?"
Anna's voice is quieter now. "Domhnall's shoes were muddy. I kept wondering how they got so muddy."
Mads's response comes quickly, "I remember those shoes. I thought the mud made him look adventurous, like he'd walked through something wild just to be there with us."
I chuckle softly. "Well, I did walk through something wild. I cut through North Inner City Dublin while it was raining to get there on time."
Anna's lips twitch slightly. Almost a smile.
But then something shifts—her breathing grows uneven, and her hands clench into fists. Her shoulders tense, and when she speaks again, the voice is undeniably Mads's—sharper, breathier, and dripping with frustration.
"Why do you always have to make it clinical?" Mads bites out, eyes snapping open, blazing with emotion. "It wasn't just ants and muddy shoes. It was us, there. It mattered."
Dr. Ezra's calm doesn't waver. "Mads, I hear you. This is a lot. Can you tell me what you're feeling right now?"
Mads shakes her head, tears brimming, even as her chin juts out. "I feel like I'm drowning. Like I'm always the one drowning while she's just... floating above it all, not even getting wet."
My heart pounds at her words. Is that really what she feels like? I spend all my time worrying about Anna, but there's this very real other part of her. And she's... drowning?
"This is bullshit." Mads shoves to her feet. "We don't need this." She glares around Dr. Ezra's office with her hands on her hips, huffing like an angry bull.
Dr. Ezra gives me a nod, a silent signal: Let her be.
