Page 34 of Fallen Gods
Iwantsilence. I groan. Ineedmore sleep. But by now, I’m committed to the irony, so changing it just feels wrong and messes with my entire headspace.
I was up late tossing and turning after that weird experience walking through the archway. My flame went completely out. The only good news is that everyone will just say it’s a trick of the wind, while I know the truth.
That damn archway does actually have some sort of ancient power. I felt it. A subtle shimmer of energy, similar to what I feel when I’m around my dad. And yet my father never mentioned it. Maybe it’s just another relic the Giants are trying to protect that’s as dormant as they are. That would make the most sense. In theory. None of the runes on the arch matched the ones Laufey wrote out for me. I should have searched the area for more runes last night, and I make a mental note to do that every time I’m out and about on campus.
I’d been desperate to see what Aric’s candle had done, but he’d already grumpily thrown it and ground it into the grass like some petulant child before I was able to see the effect of the arch.
Should I be surprised? No.
But the entire experience shook me a bit, making it impossible to sleep. It didn’t help that the wall between our rooms seems to be made out of actual paper. I could hear every single sound coming through from the other side.
I shake my head, then pull a pillow over it. After tossing for what felt like forever, I heard his door open and close around midnight. Minutes later, when he returned, I could hear him pacing his room. Apparently, he wasn’t kidding about the insomnia.
When I heard his footsteps heading toward his door a second time, I chose that moment to go out in the hall. Grabbing my toiletry bag as cover, I managed to run into him as he passed by my door. He smelled like water and moonlight.
“Midnight swim?” I asked, cursing myself for the crack in my voice.
“Please stop talking to me. It’s late and I’ve had enough of you for the day.” He sounded tired, irritated. He took in a deep breath like he was gasping for air. What was he up to now?
“Just curious.” I sidestepped him, determined not to fall for…whatever this was he was playing.
But when he reached for the wall and then grabbed my arm, holding on in a death grip, even I couldn’t pretend not to be concerned. “Are you okay?” I asked.
He opened his mouth like he wanted to confess something, then clenched his fists. “Dreams are nightmares. Nightmares are dreams. I just need it to stop, to finally stop…”
And then, like we hadn’t just been in the middle of a conversation, he stalked away from me, slamming the bathroom door behind him.
Expected.
After all, he’s a jackass. A jackass who is sleeping.Sleeping.
A sleeping Giant.
A sleeping deity.
Most are sleeping.
I’ve heard that phrase for my entire life.Most.But not all. Who, then, isn’t sleeping? Another question I repeatedly asked my father, always getting the same answer.
“Humanity is awake,” he’d say, as if that answered my question, as if this was the end of the discussion.
But of course it wasn’t. I wanted to understand. “The Gods and Giants? Are any of them awake?” I’d ask, never sure if I wanted the answer to be yes or no.
His answer was always the same. “I am all you have in this Godsforsaken world.”
I asked him this yesterday morning. And got the same answer.I am all you have.
He got me my first actual birthday cake yesterday. I’d been so excited that we were celebrating, that he and Laufey were finally acknowledging my birthday, that he allowed Laufey to publicly give me a cake rather than in secret, as she did throughout my childhood. I felt almost loved. We sang “Happy Birthday,” I blew out the candles, and then he gave me a present.
I was so eager to unwrap it, hoping for something special. Maybe a necklace? Earrings? The bloodthirsty half of me would have even been happy with a throwing knife.
My smile was so big, it hurt my face. And then my father told me to close my eyes. I complied, of course, and heard the sound of wrapping paper being ruthlessly torn away.
“Hold out your hands,” he whispered.
I did. The object was somewhat heavy. I opened my eyes, and the present slowly came into focus.
It was a chess piece.
