Page 125 of The Mating Game
I’m sure you’ll move on before you know it.
It makes me wonder how much of a chance we ever stood in the face of that.
30
Hunter
The lodge feelsemptier without Tess here, which makes no sense, given that she was only here for a few weeks. But in that time…her presence was solargethat it almost seemed to brighten the place, to make it feel like more than what it is. I can still scent her in every room, so warm and sweet that it’s like she’s standing here with me.
And now she’s just…gone. Because I practically pushed her out the door. I didn’t fight, didn’t beg her to stay like everything inside me screamed I should. Why didn’t I do that?
You know why, something whispers.
Deep down, I know there’s nothing here for her. Even if we were to try to make this work around her schedule…I’d do nothing but hold her back. I mean, really, what is there for her here? Nothing but a lodge that’s barely making ends meet and a town that she could probably fit into a subdivision in her city. She can’t thrive here. There’s absolutelynothing.
Nothing except me. And it’s no secret that I’m not exactly a prize.
I feel anger and regret swirling through me, a small part of mewishing I’d never touched her to begin with. Iknewwhat would happen if I kept giving in to her, if I kept indulging in her sweet scent and her soft body and her softer heart—but I did it anyway. Like a fool.
I smile bitterly.
Appropriate, since I apparently never learned my lesson.
But then I think about her smile and her big brown eyes, which looked at me with such trust over and over again, and honestly…I never stood a chance, I think.
I do up the last button on the nicest shirt I own, feeling stiff in the rigid material and the slacks that were a surprise even to me when I found them in my closet. Tess’s friend should be here anytime, and with every second that ticks by, bringing his arrival closer, my nerves skyrocket a little higher.
It feels silly now without Tess. What can I possibly say to this man to convince him that the lodge is as special as it feels to me? Sure, there have been a lot of good changes in the last few weeks, but there is still so much to do. And now there’s a possibility that we’ll be doing itwithoutTess.
Fuck.
As much as I try not to think about her, my thoughts always seem to find their way back to her. It’s torture, really.
A knock sounds at my door, and my stupid heart jumps into overdrive, despite knowing there’s no way that it could beher.
“Come in,” I say.
Jeannie’s head pokes around the doorframe, giving me an encouraging smile. “Your guy is pulling up the drive.”
“Great,” I say shakily, dropping down to the edge of my bed. “Now I just have to figure out how to not say anything stupid.”
Jeannie frowns, moving deeper into my room and taking a seat next to me on the bed. “You’re not going to say anything stupid.”
“How do you know?”
“Because you love this place too much,” she says. “Anything you say will just be a reflection of that.”
I stare down at my hands in my lap, my lips pursed and my brow wrinkled as I consider that.
Jeannie pats my knee. “How about we talk about what’s really bothering you?”
“What do you mean?”
“I think you know exactly what I mean, young man.” She tsks. “Tess called me from the airport to tell me goodbye.”
My jaw clenches despite the fact that I’m trying to look nonchalant. “Oh?”
“Yep. Sounded about as miserable as you look right now.”
