Page 55 of The Bodyguard Affair
“Exactly. Then you can decide if you’re willing to live with it.”
She swings me an adorable, squinty smile. “Did we just revolutionize love and dating?”
“Sure did. We deserve a Nobel Prize. It would save a lot of broken hearts.”
I turn, absorbing her like a sponge. “So what’s yours? Your actual worst trait?”
Her gaze cuts to my eyes as she considers. “People-pleasing, probably. As you already pointed out earlier.”
“Have you always been a people-pleaser?”
“Oh yeah. I was a rule follower. Never stepped out of line. Always did what I was told. I’ve spent my entire life being agreeable to make my parents happy, because they were miserable together. Mostly my mom. I felt like I had to keep the peace and make things happy for Amanda.”
“Is your sister like that, too?”
“Nah. Amanda doesn’t care what people think, which is my favorite thing about her. She’s a free-spirited artist. She takesafter my dad, which drives my mom nuts,” she says with abundant sarcasm. “My mom has tried really hard to forget about the past and move on with Dave and his family, who are all…rich and uptight. Like her family.”
“They sound amazing. When am I meeting them?” I tease.
“For your sake, hopefully never,” she replies, dodging a cyclist coming in hot behind us. “Luckily, my mom rarely visits. I haven’t seen her in, like, six months. Most of the time when I call, she gives me three minutes tops before she urgently has to go. She always says she’ll call back, but she never does.”
“Do you want to see her more?”
“I don’t know. I always get excited at the prospect, but then actually being with her is really stressful. She’s always critiquing, nit-picking. I can never do anything right. My job is never enough. My clothes never fit right. It takes a long time for me to recover.”
My heart pinches at the sight of her, eyes cast downward at the ground. “Jeez. Sounds stressful. I can see why you never told her about your books.”
“Precisely. I get enough critique from my readers. I don’t need it from my own mother.”
Frankly, this woman sounds fucking awful. I hate that she’s made Andi feel so small, so self-conscious over the years. I’m struck with the overwhelming urge to stop walking and hug her. But instead, I settle for, “For the record, I don’t think people-pleasing is a completely bad trait. I assume it’s one of the things that makes you really good at your job.”
She considers that over a burst of laughter from a group of teens taking selfies on the grass. We’ve walked so far, we’ve nearly reached Elgin Street. “Maybe. My sister says I’m desperate for Gretchen’s approval in lieu of my mom’s.”
“Are you?”
“Probably. It sounds weird, but it feels nice to be needed, especially since my mom doesn’t need me anymore,” she admits plainly.
“That makes perfect sense, actually. I mean, that’s part of what motivates people to do well. Everyone wants to feel valued and appreciated.”
“That’s true. Maybe it’s stupid of me, but I really like Gretchen as a person. Despite what people probably think, she’s a good person. She genuinely cares about all the causes she promotes, which is why she’s so neurotic about all the details. And she’s going through a really hard time, especially with the scandal, which is my fault. I guess I feel like I owe her.”
It strikes me that Andi’s dedication to her work is beyond “career.” She has a huge heart. She truly cares about Gretchen, Eric, and their family. I don’t think they realize how lucky they are to have her. “Between you and me, do you think she and Eric are happy? I mean, in Squamish, they didn’t really talk much, did they?”
She shrugs. “They used to be the happiest couple. Lately, no. I mean, he’s almost always gone. And even if he’s home, he’s in his office reading through briefings—not that he has a choice. It’s the job. But they don’t get a lot of quality time together.”
I nod, taking a moment to rest on an empty bench. “I get that. It’s kind of like long-distance. After so much time apart, you stop really knowing the person.”
“It’s a doomed way to live unless it were short-term,” she agrees, parking herself next to me. My body buzzes at her proximity, at her thighs in those shorts. “How do you really get to understand what it’s like to be partners when the other person isnever there? You’d get used to being alone, and when they’re finally back, it would be like getting to know them all over again. I guess you’d know. You mentioned in Squamish that your last relationship was long-distance.”
I nod, explaining what happened with Penny, about her meeting someone else while I was away.
Andi cringes, stretching her legs in front of her, the muscles in her thighs flexing. “I’m sorry. That’s really shitty of her.”
I shrug. “Relationships rarely last in my line of work. There’s always resentment because of the crazy schedule, sometimes cheating. Not worth the trouble, in my opinion.”
“And you picture doing your job for a long time?”
“As long as my body will let me, yeah.”
