Page 75 of The Bodyguard Affair
She sighs dramatically, like I’m an annoying main character who won’t get out of their own way. “Doesn’t mean you need to end things. Might as well make the most of the time you have. You’re still going to your friend’s wedding in Mexico, right?”
I nod. We have a week until we go to Mexico, where we’ll be sharing a room. A room. I need to get my feelings in check.
“Go for a grand finale, if you know what I mean,” she says with a wink.
I think about that for the better part of a day. I think about the night we first met and how liberating it felt being with him, even if we didn’t actually hook up. I’ve been telling myself getting physical with him will make things worse. But maybe it’s the opposite.
Saying goodbye is going to hurt like hell either way. If I’m never going to see him again regardless, why not do something for myself? Why not let go, even just for a little while, and enjoy the ride before it ends?
Chapter 31
Nolan
I haven’t seen Andi in days, since Mom’s “birthday” dinner. Not that I haven’t tried.
I’ve texted, asking her to go to lunch, asking if she’s up for a movie. But she says she’s swamped with work and writing in her small bits of spare time. Understandable, yet frustrating.
Sure, it crossed my mind that maybe the whole thing with Mom scared her off, though I didn’t get that impression. I think the real issue is that she’s been avoiding me since we hooked up at the River House. Part of me thought kissing her would feel like relief. That I’d be satisfied after that and move the fuck on with my life. But it’s only made things worse. The time away just makes me miss her more.
Luckily, life is busy enough to keep me at least semi-distracted from staring at my phone, waiting for her to text me. Even without Andi, I’ve been going back to the rescue farm a couple days a week to spend time with Cody.
Each time I show up, he comes bounding toward the fence, his little nub of a tail going wild, rejoicing at my mere presence. It feels amazing, knowing he’s as elated to see me as I am to see him, even if I don’t know what I did to deserve the affection. When I tell Deidra that, she laughs.
“That’s the thing about dogs. Their love is unconditional. It doesn’t matter how much money you have, what you look like, what you’ve done, a dog will love you all the same,” she says with a smile. “And that little guy loves you.”
“I love him, too,” I say, without even thinking. Honestly, leaving him here every time kills me. Knowing he doesn’t have a warm person to sleep against every night. No one to cuddle his shivery body and give him his medicated baths.
“You sure you wouldn’t consider taking him?” she asks again.
I sigh. The past few weeks, I’ve researched all the intricacies of bringing a dog to different countries. Turns out, you can’t—easily, at least. Every country has a shit ton of regulations and standards when it comes to transporting animals, which really fucking sucks. Not that it really matters. Wherever I go, I wouldn’t have the time or the capacity to properly care for a dog like Cody anyway. He’s better off with Deidra, or another family with an actual permanent home.
Cody isn’t the only thing I’ll miss. Things are still tough, but I think Mom has finally gotten used to me being around. We’ve established more of a routine, and I’ve learned how to counter some of her anger and frustration. Mom has insisted on making a ritual out of breakfast at the sun-drenched kitchen table. Those slow, golden mornings are when she tends to be at her sharpest. Whenever I’m home in the evening, we take a walk around the neighborhood as the sun sets. Most of the time, we have thesame conversation about old music. It’s a safe topic. She gets frustrated if we talk about anything recent, like TV shows she watched that morning, because she doesn’t remember most of it. She asks me a lot of the same questions over and over about my time in the military. Of course, there’s lots I can’t tell her, but she seems fascinated by what I can reveal. We also talk a lot about Emma and the kids. It’s become such an embedded routine, I’m probably going to miss it the most come fall.
And then there’s work, which takes up most of my time. One of the pros of the job is that Eric loves physical training. He loves staying active, like I do. So whenever he works out, I work out with him. On my first day, I stayed in my suit and he looked at me like I had five eyes. “You’re not working out with me?” he asked.
“Uh, am I supposed to?”
“I’d rather not have a man in black staring at me while I work out. Besides, if I’m going for a run, it would be weird for you to run after me in that suit.”
I wanted to tell him I’ve run with a rucksack and gear that weighs nearly his body weight, but I refrained and borrowed his gym clothes. Since then, he’s treated me more like an old friend than an employee, which I appreciate, especially after missing the camaraderie in the military.
He likes to do a bunch of types of workouts: lifting in his home gym, runs on the property, swimming, and even some mixed martial arts.
Shockingly, Eric doesn’t have much of an ego and is always asking me for fitness advice, wanting to try new things like jujitsu. I keep joking with him that he needs to start paying me double, for being both his CPO and his personal trainer.
Today we’re doing some boxing. It’s his first workout in a couple days since his schedule has been packed with back-to-back meetings.
“All right, don’t go easy on me,” he says.
“Right. Can’t mess your television face up for your Montreal trip. You’d scare the nation with a shiner.” Tomorrow, we’re heading to Montreal for two days. Eric has a couple meetings and an announcement about new steel factories.
“Oh, come on. I’m tougher than I look. I survived my last diplomatic meeting without punching anyone, didn’t I?” A smirk plays at the corner of his lips.
“Just barely.”
Eric shrugs, adjusting his boxing gloves with a nonchalant grin. “Hey, a black eye might actually boost my approval ratings. People love a leader who can take a punch, right?”
I step into the ring. “Yeah, well, let’s see if you still feel that way after I land one on you.”
