Page 80 of The Bodyguard Affair
“You have no idea how much I wanted to see you tonight,” I confess, my voice dropping to a whisper. And I mean it—I needed that escape, that comfort, more than I can put into words.
“Don’t even think about that right now. All that matters is that your mom is okay. And you. Are you okay? You don’t sound good.”
My breath hitches in a sharp intake of air. Without notice, my vision blurs. It’s moisture, pooling in the corners of my eyes, threatening to burst over my lash line. Shit. Am I actually crying?
My chest tightens and I press the heels of my hands to my eyes, refusing to blink, trying to hold them at bay. Trying to holdit together. “Sorry. It’s just been a shit night. And I’m supposed to go to Montreal with Eric tomorrow for two days, and then we have Mexico a couple days after. But Emma was invited to this beauty convention in Toronto and can’t stay with Mom overnight. At least not for the next two nights. If I can’t get any of the support workers or anyone to fill in, I might have to cancel both trips, and I feel like a total asshole because I told you I’d go and—”
“Nolan, don’t even worry about Mexico. Seriously,” she says firmly.
I clench my jaw, unable to respond, my throat aching from holding back these stupid tears. The guilt is suffocating.
“Your mom is a billion times more important than a not-like-the-others wedding of some couple you don’t even know. And when it comes to Montreal, how about I go over at night when I’m off work? I can sleep on the couch, make sure everything is okay while you’re gone, even help a little with some packing for her move. I know it’s not a great alternative compared to you or Em, or even her nurses, but it’s better than her being alone.”
I finally allow a blink, as though that will improve my hearing. Did she really just say that? Sure, we’ve established we have feelings for each other that can’t be ignored. But shit. This is beyond that. Beyond anything that feels reasonable to ask of someone, even someone you’re in a kind-of-relationship with. “No, I can’t let you do that. It’s too much. You’re way too busy with work and the gala—”
“I really don’t mind,” she insists, cutting me off with a no-nonsense tone that leaves little room for argument. “So long as it’s okay with your mom and Em.” I already know Mom will be okay with it. She loved Andi. Wouldn’t stop talking about her after the dinner.
“I don’t even know what to say.” And I mean that. I can already feel my anxiety slipping away, little by little, just at the sound of her voice.
“Say yes.”
It’s an easyyes. She may not be a professional trained to deal with Alzheimer’s patients, but I trust her implicitly for two nights. I trust her to make Mom feel comfortable, to watch her, to make sound decisions. “Only on the condition that you don’t sleep on the couch. You’ll stay in my bed. Things in the living room are a mess right now, with the packing.”
“Okay. Deal. One question: Do you sleep on an extra-firm pillow? I need to know if I should bring my own pillow.”
A deep laugh bursts out of me, which I thought I was incapable of five minutes ago.
“You totally do, don’t you?”
“What makes you think that?”
“Just a hunch. You strike me as an ultra-firm guy. Mattress, too,” she adds.
“You’ll have to find out,” I say mysteriously. “Seriously, I owe you. I know how busy you are and—”
“Nolan, stop. I’m doing this because I want to, end of story.”
“Fine,” I say, laying my head back. “But for the record, I’m really annoyed I won’t get to see you till after Montreal.” After Montreal, we only have Mexico, and then a week and a half left before the gala, before I’m set to leave. It’s not nearly enough time.
“It’ll go by fast,” she assures. “You’re going to be too busy to even miss me.”
I wouldn’t be too sure about that.
Chapter 34
Andi
“Nolan is happier than I’ve ever seen him, you know,” Lorna tells me softly as we meander down the cracked sidewalk outside her house for a quick walk before I head to work. Droplets of morning dew cling to each blade of grass, shimmering under the early sun.
“You think?”
She’s in a chipper, energetic mood compared to last night. She was understandably thrown off by my presence and confused me for Emma. Not that I minded. My biggest worry was that she’d eventually realize I wasn’t Emma and become upset or confused. Luckily, she didn’t. And by the time she woke up this morning, she knew who I was.
Still, the experience made me gain even more appreciation for Nolan and the emotional toll this must have on him day to day.
I watch as she runs a finger over the bandage extending upher thin forearm from her burn. “Oh yes. He always has a sunny smile on his face, especially when he’s talking to you. He’s constantly talking about how wonderful you are, how smart. I’ve never seen him like this with anyone.”
“He makes me really happy,” I say, trying to ignore the lingering question in my gut. Where can this lead, in reality? I’ve done a great job at compartmentalizing those worries and focusing on the now. But with Nolan gone, it’s become harder not to think about.
