Page 63 of The Lighthouse at the Cove
“C’mon, Miss Kaiah.” Piper yanked Kaiah toward the grave.
Reid walked slowly behind them. He breathed in the fresh April air and the scent of freshly cut grass mixed with blooming roses as he scanned the nearby headstones. Piper and Kaiah reached Brynn’s grave, and Kaiah helped Piper unwrap the flowers before they arranged them in the permanent vase in front of Brynn’s headstone. Then they laid the homemade card next to the flowers.
His eyes began to sting as he took in the scene. Kaiah crouched down beside his daughter and nodded with interest while Piper seemed to be in the middle of another elaborate story. They looked like they belonged together. Like his shattered family... could be mended after all. The thought sent the air whooshing out of his lungs.
When he joined them, concern filled Kaiah’s face as she studied his, and she reached for him. He hesitated for a moment before allowing her to thread her fingers with his.
“Oh look!” Piper exclaimed. “A butterfly!” Then she took off, skipping while she followed the butterfly to the next row of headstones.
Kaiah tilted her head and gave Reid’s hand a gentle squeeze while she studied him. “I know you keep saying everything is all right, but I could tell the moment I saw you in the kitchen this morning that something was wrong.”
For some reason, he couldn’t lie to her. He was tired of keeping everything locked up so tightly inside. He was ready to let it all out. But he couldn’t—he just couldn’t. She was leaving soon, and he didn’t need to keep trying to hitch her to a relationship that was destined to stay a dream.
He took a shuddering breath and shook his head. “You’re right. Something is definitely wrong.”
She pulled him toward a bench across from the headstone. Thenshe sat down and brushed her hand over the spot beside her. “Sit and talk to me, Reid.”
He did as he was told while keeping his eyes focused on the headstone and the words inscribed on it:Brynn Elizabeth Hawkins Turner, along with the date she was born and the date that changed everything.
Reid and Kaiah sat silently for several moments while she held his hand. Piper continued to dance around while singing to herself several yards away.
Finally, Reid faced Kaiah. The gentle warmth of her skin caressing his hand whispered that she might be a soft place to land. He longed to give in to that warmth, to let it envelop his whole being. So he did. “Yesterday we were called to a scene of an accident, and it brought it all back to me,” he began, his voice sounding hoarse. “It was like I was reliving Brynn’s death over again.”
Kaiah shifted toward him and rested her free hand on their entwined fingers. Her expression was open, ready to listen.
“The car...” He paused and tried to swallow against his thickening throat. “The car was on its side, and that was what happened the day Brynn died.”
“Oh, Reid,” she whispered.
“When I saw it, I froze.” He studied their hands. “I couldn’t move. I’ve been a firefighter for almost fifteen years, and I’ve never had that happen before. I learned in training to compartmentalize, to leave my emotions behind when we go on calls. But yesterday I couldn’t do it. When I saw the car on its side, everything came rushing back.”
She nodded, encouraging him to continue.
“The day she died, it was my turn to pick up Piper at day care. We took turns depending on when I was working. I was off that day, and she had planned to stay late at school to finish up some projects. But Iwas selfish.” His tone was throaty, hoarse. “I wanted to go in for a meeting at the fire station because I was trying to earn brownie points with my captain. I was so determined to impress him and get promoted as soon as possible. It was all I cared about. I had taken Piper to day care since my mom couldn’t keep her, and I told Brynn to pick her up. I didn’t even ask. Itoldher that I was going. I was arrogant and thoughtless. It was like I had something to prove, which was so ridiculous.”
He took a shaky breath. “Brynn was furious, and we argued a bit. She was angry with me, and she had every right to be. I ruined her plans.” He shook his head, disgusted with himself. “I went to the meeting, and while I was there, we got a call about an accident a few blocks from Piper’s day care. And I had this feeling, this sick, horrible feeling deep in my gut. It was like I knew.”
Kaiah shifted closer to him. She rested her shoulder against his side, and the sweet gesture gave him the strength to keep talking.
“When we got there,” he whispered as the vision filled his mind, “I saw her car, and I fell to my knees, and...” His words sounded raspy, and his eyes were wet. “It was all my fault. If I had gone to pick up Piper, my wife wouldn’t have been there when that dump truck swerved into head-on traffic. Then my daughter would still have her mother. Then maybe I would’ve been the one—”
“Shhh. Don’t say it.” Kaiah interrupted him, cupping her hands to his cheeks. Her blue eyes glistened with tears. “Don’t, Reid,” she told him softly. “Don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault that driver came across the centerline. And don’t youeversay that you deserve to be the one in the ground. It’s not true. The person to blame is the one who hit your wife’s car.”
He sniffed, and she wiped his tears. The feeling of her fingers brushing across his face was almost too much for him. He longed to take her in his arms and hold her close.
“You’re such a good dad,” she continued. “Piper is blessed tohave a dad like you, and it’s not your fault Brynn is gone. Stop torturing and blaming yourself. Just forgive yourself. You’re allowed.”
He blew out a shaky puff of air, and she traced her fingers down his cheeks. At that moment, he felt closer to her than to anyone else. He sniffed and studied her beautiful face.
“What are you thinking right now?” she asked.
“How is it that I’ve only known you eight days, but I feel like I’ve known you my entire life?”
“I was just wondering the same thing,” she told him softly.
He cupped her cheek with his hand, and he stared down at her lips. Once again, he longed to kiss her, and he yearned to know if she would kiss him back. He dipped his chin, and he was certain he heard her breath hitch.
“Daddy!”
