Page 38 of Mister Hockey
“What? That was it? That’s the sum total of your reaction,” she asked. “This is a deep, dark secret. One that I’ve never told a living soul. And look at you.”
“What about me?” He frowned, scrubbing his beard.
“You’re acting as surprised as if I’d announced that ketchup tastes good on French fries.”
“What do you want me to say?” His gaze went strangely tight. “What do you want me to say? You’re a children’s librarian.”
“So?”
“So.” His dark brows rose fractionally. “That means you like books.”
“Yes, but...” She didn’t know why she wanted to argue against her dream. Maybe because he made it sound too simple and straightforward. Too possible.
Grrrr.
But Jed didn’t have to stress out over making his monthly mortgage and didn’t get how scary it would be to sink further into debt. Plus there was no guarantee that the neighborhood might appreciate a good quality children’s bookstore. She hadn’t even done a full business plan. Just had a hunch she was right.
Taking a leap in life came with a risk, a better than average chance of crashing and burning, falling to Earth like a stupid Icarus. Every time she imagined moving forward, Mom’s voice piped into the back of her head.How are you planning on paying for health insurance? What about days off? Are you going to hire staff and give them health insurance? Do you know what the failure rate for small businesses is in this city? This state? This country?
Every question would underline and highlight the same fact.
Not. Good. Enough.
Same when Mom had been her skating coach.
“Penny for your thoughts.” Jed returned her back into the present. “Where’d you go?”
“Nowhere good,” she replied. “It’s like I have this voice in my head. Not a crazy one telling me to go hold up a 7-Eleven or wear a tinfoil hat,” she hastily tacked on. “We all have chatter going on in our minds to some degree. But whenever I stop and listen to my thoughts, more often than not, they are sort of acting like assholes.”
Jed nodded once. “Sports psychology is big business, much of it devoted to tackling this very thing. The research is clear. Athletes that commit to practicing positive self-talk see upticks in their performance. Giving in to negativity reduces success.”
“You sound like a motivational video,” she teased.
“I shot one of those last week,” he deadpanned.
“I can’t tell if you are kidding, but then, they don’t let you have thatCon your jersey for being a slouch.”
“So you want to open a children’s bookshop, but are afraid you aren’t cut out for it?” He frowned faintly. “Why?”
“Because I love books. But I don’t have the first clue about running a small business.”
“You know what people are reading. Understand the market.”
“But what if I fail?” Hearing him behave like this wasn’t a ridiculous idea made the idea more real.
Lord knew she thought about it enough. Even knew the perfect space on a tree-lined street in the Cherry Creek neighborhood, a charming brick-and-mortar building with big bright windows and hardwood floors. It was located next to a popular coffee shop and close to a toy shop and kid’s clothing store.
She even had the name picked out: Itsy Bitsy Books.
“But I don’t know anything about finance,” she blurted, although the business plan shoved in a binder on her bookshelf begged to differ.
“But. There’s that word again.” He crawled over her, kissing it away. “I happen to know a guy who knows a guy. And that guy got a degree in Finance from Stanford. And that guy knows how to negotiate contracts like nobody’s business. Here’s my secret. A few people know it, but I need you to hear it before we go any further.”
Nerves bubbled in her belly even as she forced a determined smile. What could he possibly confess that made him go dark and impenetrable? Almost as if he was cloaked in shame. “Go on.”
“Look. You should know, I’m not a big reader... I get distracted and restless. My mind starts to wander. But you,youlive and breathe stories. They’re your oxygen or something.”
“It’s true.” She reached out and touched his perfect, square jaw. “Books are proof to me that magic really does exist in the world.”
