Page 19 of Fallen Thorns
I uncrossed my legs and leaned forward, trying to engage properly; I was only half listening before. “Well, you could say he is saying we’re all useless and empty inside. Untameable and ever-changing vessels that serve very little permanence in the grand scheme of things and simply ruin what the world already has to offer. If you think about what clouds are, in essence. We are not free.”
Rani’s eyes widened, then she snorted. “Always the pessimist.”
“Just seeing our existence as it really stands.”
“Is that really a Shelley perspective though?”
“Very Shelley.”
“Okay then,” Rani adjusted her chair and flicked her book to a different page. “What about this one then? Hope or no hope for humanity?”
I looked down at her notes. “You’re forgetting we studied that one at school. Only hope for the common man.”
That garnered another laugh, and I joined in, recognising my severity.
“Gosh, I’m glad you’re okay today,” Rani innocently added.
My smile internally faded as flashes of the night before re-emerged. Memories of me watching in horror as my eyes shifted from hazel to an aggressive, veiny red. My mind flitting back to the murders. The Thorns. Mars. Lucy. Blood. Blood. Blood.
I had binned the blood bag without a second thought, dreading to think about any part of what my future entailed. I was living in the now, and because I felt okay in that moment, I hoped I would be okay forever. Even that morning, I was forgetting how bad the sensation was, as we always do. We tell ourselves, ‘oh, maybe it wasn’t that bad after all.’ Until it happens again.
I hadn’t eaten anything, not since breakfast on the morning I met Lucy.Maybe I’ll never have to eat again.I no longer felt hunger, only an extreme sense of power and weakness all at once. Limbs aching with this unexplainable, immortal body…
I wasn’t sure how long this bag was going to last in my system, until I would once again burn up from the inside out. But I decided without hesitation that I would require no help, and that I was going to manage it on my own. I’d be prepared, finding my own ways of dealing. I was sure I would be able to figure it all out.I’ll drink my own blood if I must.Many vampires won’t have a community like that and they will have to manage somehow.
One thing was for certain, I wasn’t going back to those rooms, or to any place where normality ceased to exist. I refused. I was determined to live my life with as much stubborn optimism as I could.
“May I join you?”
My gut sank. In fact, my whole body sank. We’d been sat for barely twenty minutes before reality crawled back in.
We both looked up and there stood Mars, in the middle of the day, dressed like a funeral-attending secretary with knee high buckled boots and hair flowing graciously down their back. I stared in awe.Are they a student here? No. They can’t be. Were theyfollowingme?
“Hello…” Rani beamed, with a discrete glance in my direction. “Arlo, are you going to introduce us?” Despite her reluctance, she was already making room on the booth beside her.
“I... this is...”What is happening?
“I’m Mars,” they stuck out their hand for Rani to shake. She did, looking far too excited whilst doing so.How can she greet strangers so easily?
“Mars! What a cool name. I’m Rani. It’s lovely to meet you. Arlo, you haven’t mentioned…?” She flicked another puzzled glance towards me.
“I only met them...” I stopped myself. “The other day.”
“In the bookshop next door,” Mars intervened. “I asked for recommendations, and it turns out we have a lot in common.” They were either taking a seriously lucky guess based off my pretentious fashion and the book in front of me, or they’d been following me.
“Oh, nice! Are you a student here as well?”
Mars made themself comfortable opposite me, crossing their legs and easing into the booth as though this meet up was pre-planned. “Nah. I mean, I was a few years back, but now I’m just one of those sad ex-students who floats around campus looking for first years to rope into joining weird clubs.” They grinned a sort of contagious grin that made me momentarily forget my frustration.
“That was a joke, obviously. Ha ha. No, I’m an artist and the manager of a local band. Forever Red? You might have heard of them,” they said this solely to Rani; I’d already been informed of this, of course — minus the manager part.How many vampires are in this band?
Rani’s eyes seemed distant for a moment, her memory cogs winding in her mind. “Wait… I think I have, actually… sort of alternative indie stuff, right? I think they performed at Leeds last year, right? I didn’t realise they were from up here!”
Mars’ face lit up, radiating with pride. “Formed right here at this university nearly ten years ago now. Wow, time flies. They’re like gods on stage.” Another infectious grin revealed a dimple on each cheek. “You should come see them some time!”
Rani nodded in gracious acceptance, whilst I, on the other hand, kept quiet. I was trying and failing at wrapping my head around the notion of a vampire band touring the country. Maybe I needed some stronger medication.
“So you… manage them? Like tour with them and everything?” Rani had no desire to drop this conversation, twisting her whole body around to fully engage with Mars. My collar started to itch.
