Page 31 of Fallen Thorns
“Erm, yeah, please. No milk. Thanks. I’ll pay you back.”
Rani threw me a hand that told me not to worry about it then wandered over to the counter without waiting for my response.
I steadied my breathing, grateful for the sudden quiet. No one was sitting too close.What is happening?I thought I had this under control. Ididhave it under control; I noted down every time I fed, and for how long, and nothing had changed. I was doing this properly, so why was my brow heating up?
The faint scar on my left palm began to itch. It had mostly healed up from a few hours earlier but there was no reason why I would need it again so soon.Control yourself.
Rani gleefully returned a few minutes later carrying a tray of hot drinks, mumbling something about her new friend I was about to meet. I watched her settle it on the table, trying my hardest to absorb what she was saying, but it was no use, all I could hear was her heart, and that of the person brushing past my chair, and the cashier. I needed to sort myself out.
Palm burning, I abruptly stood up and darted straight for the toilet, slamming the door behind me. I didn’t stop to look at her reaction, I’d explain when I got back. I felt sick or was I anxious at the prospect of meeting someone new? No. I needed food.
Blood.
I reached into my pocket for the razor blade I kept wrapped up for emergencies, but it wasn’t there; it wasn’t in any of my pockets.I never forget it.
Fuelled with frustration, I banged my fist against the tiled wall, then slapped myself for being so childish. “Get it together,” I hissed through gritted teeth.
I paced the cubicle, staring at the floor as my mind fuzzed over. The only way out of this would be to use my teeth.Like an animal.
My brain pulsed against my skull and black dots swarmed my vision as if I was on the verge of passing out. I pulled on my hair, suppressing an aggravated scream.
I lowered myself to the floor, knees crumbling beneath me. There was no time for debate. I needed to fix myself. Rolling up my sleeve, I exposed my milky white arm; blue veins tracing the surface of my skin. I took in a deep breath and clamped down on my wrist. Hard. Tendons snapped and my veins teared. My jaw ached as I let whatever lay dormant within me take over.
Euphoria shook me. I’d never taken this much this quickly before, but I didn’t even have the room in my head to care. Arlo wasn’t there anymore. All that stood in that cubicle was a whisper in the midnight shadows, a creak in the alley gate, the reason children checked under their beds at night. Nothing human would taste flesh and beg for more.
The pounding door stunned my body, preventing the impending and irreversible accident. Angrily, my body shrivelled back down into its human mind, and I could have sworn I felt the returning weight in my chest, if only for a moment.
“Arlo, are you okay in there?”
Arlo. That’s my name.
I looked around the room, panting and bewildered.What just happened?
A patch of blood marked the floor and I checked my body for any wounds, only then noticing the already fading bite marks on my arm. Two full rows of teeth lined my forearm. A dull ache followed my discovery, causing me to consciously shake my arm, my sleeve dropping in the process.
I bit my arm? What was I thinking?
“Yes! Give me a second.”
I emerged a moment later,after washing my hands out of habit and wiping up the stains.
Rani had already sat back down, presumably to draw attention away from us. I walked back over to the table, frantically blinking away my confusion. Another head had joined us. Carmen. When I rounded the corner back to my seat, I was struck with a heavy sense of déjà vu. I had met this woman before. Choppy brown waves, piercing blue eyes and curves like Aphrodite. I’d even done this before — face her from this exact distance...
“Nice to meet you, Arlo,” Carmen greeted me in a delicate voice, lightly turning to address Rani as well, to apologise for being late. “I couldn’t find my keys. Tore my whole apartment apart before I realised they were already in my bag.” She and Rani laughed in unison. I’ll admit my laugh was delayed, yet not through ignorance.Where have I met her before? Uni? Where did Rani say she met her? Did she even mention where?
Rani caught my eye and mouthed ‘you good?’. I nodded subtly. A blatant lie.What had just happened to me?
“Sorry I just need to...” my voice trailed off. Would I really let the first thing that came out of my mouth to a stranger be the fact I needed the toilet?
“Gosh, you’re bleeding.” Carmen pointed to my arm, where I peered down to see a small but deep red patch on my sleeve that must have soaked through before the wound closed. I slid my arm under the table to avoid further attention. Rani gave me her usual sad and sympathetic look.
“It’s nothing. Old shirt.”
Carmen squinted her eyes but Rani broke the tension. “So, Arlo, I was just telling Carmen about that time we both walked into that glass door.” She pointed over to the entrance.
“Just nearly did the same thing myself. How embarrassing,” Carmen snorted.
“Oh god yeah, how could I forget that?” It was probably the last time I laughed so hard that I actually couldn’t stand up properly. “It’s really polished!”
