Page 60 of Fallen Thorns
Or the creature after me.
Of Lucy.
Nothing.
But of course, we eventually ended up circling back to that night.
Four rounds deep I asked, “Why me?”
After their fifth shot and a wink they replied, “Why not.”
My seventh shot. “I wasn’t worth saving.”
“Oh, you fucking were.”
I was still very much present and in control, but my filter of modesty had skewed.
I leaned in. “Tell me why.”
Mars’ face seemed off. I couldn’t make out the freckle I thought they had on their cheek. The one shaped like a heart. I was so close, but my eyes couldn’t focus on it.
Mars leaned closer still so our foreheads were practically touching. They reached out to grab the back of my hair so that our heads collided. Their fingers knotted through the overgrowing waves, hand heated and clammy. I had no desire to move away or untangle myself though, I was looking directly into their blurring eyes.
“Because…” their voice rolled, and before they had a chance to finish the sentence, their grip loosened and they fell off their chair, falling to the floor with a thud and causing several customers to startle around at the scene. In my drunken haze, I followed them down, laughing uncontrollably as I attempted to pick Mars up off the ground. But when I heard them snort and figured out they were laughing too, my legs gave way, all semblance of strength leaving with my voice. I too was then seated and bruised in a heap on the floor. I hiccupped and Mars laughed even more, then I pulled my coat off the chair in an attempt to help myself up, but it fell directly over my head and the next thing I knew, Mars had crawled under the jacket too, their face flushed.
“Peekaboo!” they shouted, then hiccupped, then in a second their expression faded. Their eyes rolled and their face dropped, and I was suddenly propelled backwards as Mars darted upwards and raced towards the toilet, holding their mouth. I followed as quickly as I could manage, catching up to them in the toilet cubicle and offering in a blinding haze to hold their hair as they began retching into the toilet. We were still laughing the whole time, babbling about how we fell while badly attempting to reenact what had just happened, multiple times. The two of us, then staring into the cubicle mirror, tried to compose ourselves but continued falling into fits of hysterics when we both acknowledged how drunk we were.
“You’re so tall,” Mars managed to say as we stared head on into the mirror. They raised their hand up and patted my head with an audible ‘bop’ sound before hiccuping again. Neither of us were able to contain ourselves.
“Well, what if you’re just exceptionally small?” I recognised the drunken slur of my words and the delay of my blinking, but it did not phase me in the slightest.
“How dare you insult me?” Mars folded their arms, puffing out their bottom lip like a stroppy child.
I immediately panicked and apologised multiple times, my hands flying about as I tried to explain that I didn’t intend to be rude but then Mars’ seriousness left them entirely and they grinned. “Your face! Ha!” They patted my nose twice. “I was only joking. My sister was five nine.”
Sister was — past tense. Poppy.
Mars gave me no time to dwell — I was already being dragged out of the cubicle and back into the bar. I stumbled back over to retrieve my coat and down the rest of my drink (a dangerous mistake), and then Mars had me by the arm and we left the bar with a childish skip. I just about managed to catch the eye of the bartender, who must be used to seeing Mars like this, and I waved a bleary-eyed thanks. He put down the glass he was polishing to wave back, throwing me a thumbs up as we stepped out into the cold, late November night. Mars was spinning around, arms wide and tilting their head back to catch the snow on their eyelashes, as though in a movie. All composure left me, and I found myself running after them — or stumbling to be more accurate — falling into them and hugging them into my arms.
“Thank you,” I said into their hair. I meant it deeply.
“For what?”
“For saving me.”
The next fewhours were what I could only describe as fluid. We swayed from one motion to another as a wave would caress the beach on a calm evening. We had no control over any of it — or at least it felt that way. We stumbled back to The Thorns base, and I, without considering the fact that Mars would inevitably follow me, made my way towards my room. In my current state, however, everything looked the same. Lost and confused, we passed a lot of ‘shhh’ sounds to each other as we stumbled through the corridors and attempted to suppress our laughter. We found it eventually, Mars swinging from the crook of my elbow as I pushed open the door and we both collapsed onto the bed, creasing the sheets terribly and scuffing our dirty boots across the covers.
We weren’t thinking. I wasn’t thinking.I don’t feel this.
In a rush, Mars pulled my coat off — and I let them. I didn’t even watch how carelessly they threw it to the ground — it didn’t matter — nor did I stop to consider how this entire situation was making me feel. I didn’t stop at all.
Through a fuzz of black and white and static, Mars took my head in their hands, and we shared not even a full breath between us before they took my lips in theirs. I was numb, aside from the tingle shooting over my lips and tongue, but I didn’t pull away, I don’t even think I knew how to. Instead, I stayed close as Mars kissed me again, whiskey and mint hot on their breath. I believed I was kissing back, though I wasn’t sure what that was supposed to feel like. Hot. Passionate, maybe. I eventually reached out to mirror Mars’ movements, threading my fingers through their soft hair, and accidentally pulling it out of style, but they didn’t appear to be bothered at all.
What am I doing?I couldn’t even answer my own question.
Mars adjusted themself on the bed so that their hands were at either side of my body. I instinctively leaned back, their body parallel to mine the whole time until my head hit the soft pillow beneath me, and Mars was leaning on top of me. My breathing grew shallow as they slowly leaned down, body lying flush with mine. Their face blurred, and they kissed me again and again and again. Deeper. Faster. Our teeth clashed and I thought I heard them laugh a little. I laughed too, deep down, somewhere.
In the heat of the moment, my body became weighty, and I sunk into the sheets. The air felt damp and sticky, and Mars shifted their body over to one side as their left hand began to toy with the collar of my shirt. I watched them play around with it, brush it between their fingertips. We were both slightly out of breath, the only sounds in the room coming from our mouths, and the occasional ruffle of our clothes against the sheets.
