Page 66 of Fallen Thorns
I lower my head in mild frustration, but I do not mind entirely. There is still plenty of time.
So, I leave him be, and wander off into the daylight.
“It just doesn’t sound right. You know? The key just feels a bit off.”
I had gone to find a quiet room to study and stumbled across Ben hunched over an electric keyboard that was balanced awkwardly over his crossed legs, while Casper sat in a reclining chair under a reading light. He seemed only half engaged in the conversation his boyfriend was trying to coax out of him, whilst the rest of his attention was on the book in his hands. He looked very studious in reading glasses, I noted — an entirely different image from what I was used to. They both looked up as I entered.
“Sorry, I’ll go somewhere else.” A rush of embarrassment hit me as I stood there with my arms full of textbooks.
The two of them glared at me and then, in perfect unison, told me to ‘not be daft’. I was always welcome to join them, they said. I was taken aback by how welcoming they were, yet they were always like that.
I sat down and organised my sheets, pulling out my own reading glasses. Out of everything this bizarre parasitic death had blessed me with, it could have at least corrected my vision.
“You’ll probably be better company than him,” Ben mumbled, barely looking up from the keys as he worked his fingers and muttered his concentrated thoughts.
Casper peered over his glasses, flopping his paperback over one knee. “I’m looking for lyric inspiration, if you must know.”
Ben huffed. “That’s Francesca’s job.”
“Not always.” Casper shrugged in subtle annoyance.
Ben finally looked up at his partner, his face halfway between a laugh and a smile. “And when was the last time you wroteanyof our songs?”
We sat in dramatic silence as the two of them fell into a staring contest. Casper broke first and at the same time Ben’s face went smug and I watched his brow raise under his dark curls.
“You got me.” Casper rolled his eyes.
The book was discarded, as were the glasses, and Casper finally made his way over to his boyfriend to aid their collective musical block. I noted the movements: the way Casper so comfortably and casually slipped behind Ben, arms brushing over Ben’s shoulders and head resting against the top of his partner’s head. So much gentle contact. I marvelled at the way Ben subtly melted into Casper’s embrace — letting his back relax into his boyfriend’s chest.
Why can’t I be normal?
Last night, with Mars... Why didn’t Iwantit?What is wrong with me?
“You like music, Arlo?” I realised Casper was trying to keep me involved in the conversation.
“Oh… yeah. I suppose.”
“He hasn’t heard of The Cure,” Ben chimed in.
Casper’s eyes grew theatrically wide, light reflecting off his golden, dangling earrings.
“That’s not true! I have!” I argued, leaping to my own defence.
Ben’s brow sarcastically quirked again.
“Boys Don’t Cry?” I tried, my brain panic-firing suggestions.
Casper’s reaction said all I needed to know about the situation. It’s funny because I actually did have some, albeit limited, knowledge of that band, but I was put on the spot, so my thoughts malfunctioned.
“That just won’t do,” Casper exaggerated his Louisiana accent, beckoning me over.
“He’s studying!” Ben playfully back handed his boyfriend’s chest as I stood up.
“To hell with studying! He’s got eternity, ain’t that right, Ben?”
Eternity.That notion clogged my throat, but I wasn’t given enough time to dwell on it. These two were very persistent.
I was encouraged to sit down on the chair next to Ben where Casper then pulled out his phone and handed me Ben’s headphones. My skin crawled at the proximity, but it was a calm discomfort, the attention merely a foreign sensation. I could manage it this time.
