Page 82 of Fallen Thorns
“I promise.”
And I did promise; I owed them that much. We would figure this out together. The less people who knew, the better. We’d find my creature and we’d put a stop to it. Prove to Marianne that I was not weak. I could hold my own, but properly this time. No more hiding away, alone and ashamed. No more losing control. Mars would guide me, and I could guide them. Perhaps the first teamwork effort I could be proud of. Things would work out with Mars by my side.
But despite my confidence and pride, something felt off. The look on their face right then — I’d never seen that before. I couldn’t think of what specificallyfeltodd but then it clicked, and I didn’t know how I managed it, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d just Manipulated the very same person who saved my life. I’d walked them right into a trap I hadn’t even intended on setting, and I’d taken away their autonomy. Would they have even noticed? Would they have even agreed to my proposal?
But the worst part of it all? It feltgood.
* * *
Mars kept their word,of course. We spent many days and nights retracing steps whilst I pointed out anything that might indicate menotbeing myself. Though I never felt my creature’spresence in that short amount of time, I was no less sure of my desire to catch him. Marianne still aided on that front, strengthening patrols and narrowing down possibilities. Sharing her theories when she could and her bold sense of dominance never dwindled; we would come to a conclusion, she insisted.
The fear of not telling her what happened slowly crawled its way to the back of my mind the more time passed, to the point where I barely even considered it anymore. And she was none the wiser — I was happy to keep it that way.
I was sosureof myself.
After very little time in the makeshift dungeon, the captive was released. I was relieved by this, until I learned that Marianne had quite literally‘shattered his mind’.Two days later, he was found dead at our very door — a death by his own hand. His bloody knuckles still twitched from the rapid pounding at the hard oak, unable to bear returning to his clan. He was weak, she explained, the complete opposite to the previous captives. He held nothing of importance other than the pride of his involvement in the murders. Naturally that was enough for Marianne to snap, though we had ultimately reached another dead end. The fool didn’t even know who he was working for, he simply enjoyed the thrill.
I completed all my assignments, much to my own surprise, but the incessant late night and early morning studies between patrols and meetings were paying off. Maybe I was going somewhere after all. Rani didn’t let any of this business get in her way either, scoring excellently in all modules of study. She even received a commendation from her lecturer for her ‘open-mindedness’. I was proud of her. She deserved it all.
Carmen, I’ll admit, kept her distance, but only as far as being attached to Rani would let her. I helped them train, as they requested. Holding back a little more with Rani than with Carmen but only, as I reminded myself, because Carmen was older and more experienced. She could take more, so I gave more. Rani would learn in time, as she always did. She always leaped over every hurdle coming her way, and in many ways, I was starting to understand why those two enjoyed so much of each-other’s company. Both so strong willed and equally stubborn. Maybe they had found a good match in each other. Maybe that’s what it was.
I spent a lot of time with Ben and Casper too, and even warmed to Lawrence. He apologised for his drug induced ‘forwardness’ and vowed to never try that again — with anyone. Casper explained Lawrence’s history with ‘going too far’ and claimed if he ever did attempt another escapade, he would be kicked out of the band. No questions asked. While I assured him that level of extremity would not be necessary, he wouldn’t have any of it, shaking his hands in my face to end the conversation.
I was finally properly introduced to Francesca, Forever Red’s lead guitar player and front of the band, though I quickly learned she preferred keeping herself to herself and rarely attended group meetings. That alone gave me the impression we’d probably be great friends in another life.
The opportunity arose for me to attend a stage test of one of their upcoming performances, though I could do nothing but laugh at Mars’ managerial skills.
“You’re so severe,” I joked and they shooed me away with hands, adjusting their clunky headset.
I planned my trip home to see my mum and Bess over Christmas break. Rani wished to return with me, and both Mars and Carmen promised to visit us both.
To put it simply, things were working out. Or so it seemed. It was hard to truly gage what the bright side looked like when you’d spent so long in the dark.
* * *
“Pick the pen up,”I demanded. Carmen stared coldly, half at my face, and half at the space just to the side of me, dividing her full attention. She held her breath for a few moments, heart rate increasing and fist clenching, but she didn’t touch the biro I placed on the table to her left. She had mastered this over the last couple of weeks, this technique of only half listening at all times.
Rani clapped, perched on the steps in the corner of the room. Carmen threw her a thumbs up.
“Great work, Carmen.” Marianne stood at the doorway. I recognised she had been there for a while, though it was evident only I sensed her.
“He wasn’t trying hard enough.”
I believed Carmen meant that as a joke, but in hindsight, I wasn’t too sure.
“Arlo is still only a few months turned. Some of us have strength triple times the power of his young, immortal mind.” Marianne entered the room properly, hands on hips and brow tighter than usual. “You’ll need to start trying to work with some of the others.”
I didn’t say anything in response to that, acting as though I wasn’t actually present.
“She still did well,” Rani chimed in, standing up and heading over to take Carmen’s space; the two of them sharing a silent conversation and blushed grins in passing. My friend then turned to look at me head on, shaking her arms out in preparation and brushing her curls to her back. She grinned, stance tensing. “Gimme all you got.”
I took a deep breath, catching eyes with Marianne before I began. It was always easier to try it out on Carmen because we didn’t share any memories or connections. There was a mutual, unspoken hostility between us at all times, regardless of our situations, which helped ease us both. I couldn’t blame Carmen for any of her feelings, but with Rani, I always had to pause.
Marianne stepped in before I opened my mouth.
“Now, Rani dear, close the gate. You’re still radiating too many signals.”
We both turned to The Thorns leader, confused, but Carmen glanced at Marianne and lowered her head in agreement.
