Page 85 of Fallen Thorns
Carmen scowled as if she thought she’d misheard her. She had not, of course, and I was glad of Marianne’s decision.
“A vampire standoff is no place for a human anyway. This has all just been for fun.”
Carmen had seemed to be well and truly on Marianne’s side, until those final words; then her allegiance changed, and she shifted back to Rani’s side. “Fun?What do you mean? You’re not letting us help? You’re not lettingme?Have I not proven myself?” She was angry, and I understood her fully. Carmen was more than capable, but after seeing what I could do, Marianne’s executive decision was the right one, for the sake of us all.
“Carmen, don’t. Please.” Marianne maintained composure, ushering the two humans towards the wooden door. “We will talk about this later. Please understand me. It’s for the best.”
“For thebest?” Carmen persisted to protest. “Aftereverything?You’re changing your mind just like that? Because Arlo’s stronger than he should be? Was that not alwaysexpected?”
“Carmen! Enough!” Marianne growled, her teeth exposed.
It wasn’t Manipulation, it wasn’t needed. Marianne, the ever soft-spoken Englishwoman, never raised her voice like that unless something was seriously wrong. I’d seen her do this twice in the space of ten minutes now. And it was all my fault.
She wiped their memories.
“I’ll be out in a second,” Marianne said, not letting Carmen get the last word in.
Rani’s eyes caught mine as she shuffled out, then she glanced to the floor behind me. Confusion mixed with something else that I couldn’t decipher had painted itself over her face. She saw the blood. She didn’t comment on it.
What have I done?
ChapterTwenty
Frost coated the ground the next morning; couples gripped onto coat arms, laughing when one or both inevitably slipped.
I’d spent my morning in the university library, finishing up some last-minute studies before preparing some reading for the following term. My lecturers had barely even noticed my considerable absence over the past month or so. I’d explained my reasoning of course and proved I’d still done the readings as much as I could. With jarring nods and heads tilted slightly to the wrong side, they claimed that as long as my grades remained consistent, my self-study time must be paying off. It shouldn’t have been that easy and I should have been penalised — should have been a lot of things. It was constant now.
Most of my bags were packed, ready for me to leave for home in a few days as everything seemed to be winding down for the winter break.
Who would have thought studying was the only thing that could truly keep me distracted now. The only thing to keep the creeping thoughts at bay, the thoughts that had eaten away parts of me over the last month.
Marianne was acting strange around me, stranger than normal. She would no longer smile at me in the motherly way she once did and was much more direct with her questions and requests. It was inexplicably clear that my newfoundabilityhad frightened her, overwhelmed her perhaps. The entire concept of Manipulation had baffled me right from the start, but it was slowly unfolding to be quite clear. We had power, our kind. And it was up to us how we chose to use it.
For the record, I never willingly went into a situation with the desire to control it, but it was growing increasingly harder for me to comprehend my own mind as it was not, perhaps, fully mine to own anymore. I didn’t know what was happening, but thatvoice,those thoughts that sprung from nowhere… There was something inside me. Something else. Something I now knew no one seemed to know the severity of; no one other thanhim. Michael.
What was I capable of?
Great things.
Since the incident with Rani, and the pain devouring me ever since, I’d felt entirely unlike myself. So I studied, sought distraction, and did what made me happy.
I think, anyway. It was hard to tell. I was becoming a shell.
I finishedup my writing and added a note for a poem idea, but then scribbled it out and cursed myself for even thinking it would work. My own projects would have to wait.
Heading out into the late morning sun, I precariously watched my footing along the uneven streets as I strode up past the cathedral for my daily meeting with Mars. I was a little early, as per usual, so I bought a hot chocolate and doubled it up as a hand warmer as I stood beside the doorway to someone’s home.
I wondered if Marianne had told them what I was.
An abomination.
A headache was brewing, and I wiped away a single tear that had somehow crawled out. I blamed it on the cold, lying to myself.
While I wasn’t particularly paying close attention to my surroundings, every now and again, out of habit, I would look up and around to see if I recognised anyone. I rarely did, it was a fairly big city, and I was still only a few months into calling this my new home, but I would always scan crowds regardless: a desire for a sense of familiarity in this foreign new life.
Two minutes passed, my drink finally cooling to a drinkable temperature, and I looked up again to the alleyway leading up to the side of the cathedral, and maybe it was just a trick of the light or a mixture of greenery and shopping bags but I could have sworn I sawher.I shivered, and not from cold.
Lucy. The woman I’d all but convinced myself must have vanished from existence.
