Page 49 of Hate Me Like You Mean It
Gramp Stamp
They rub their urine all over their hands and swing from branch to branch. It’s a way of marking their territory and attracting mates.
Sister In Law, Esq.
Well, it definitely didn’t work for Carl. Jamie turned him down.
Me
But I’m almost positive “plant guy” refers to a literal “plant guy,” and when you were bragging about how he got you another ghost orchid last month, you meant a literal flower and not some ethereal grade of cocaine
Adrien
He recently got me a Shenzhen nongke. He’s incredible at his job.
Me
I have no idea what that is or how to pronounce half of it. Can you send me his contact info?
Sister In Law, Esq.
Ah, yes, baby nongke. Adrien almost cried when he got that call.
Guess how much it cost.
Me
CAN WE PLEASE FOCUS
My battery’s down to 1%
Sister In Law, Esq.
$242,000
Me
For a flower?????
Adrien
To be clear, he nabbed it at a charity auction event. All of the money was donated to biodiversity preservation initiatives.
Sister In Law, Esq.
My philanthropic freak.
Adrien
And last I checked, Lice, you regularly spend that amount on shoes alone in any given year.
Me
I’ll have you know that I didn’t take any of my credit cards with me when I moved.
Dad
I can vouch for that. One of the accountants called to make sure she was okay the week after she left.
