Page 2 of The Heart That Breaks
She didn’t start to pull over until we were fifty yards or so past him, me looking back, and instantly crying for the pitiful little soul who had thought we were going to be the ones to stop for him.
When she finally stomped the brakes and started backing the car up, I sobbed in outright relief.
Henry began trottingtoward us, his tail tucked with uncertainty. He must have known we were probably his last hope and worth the risk.
“Hurry up and get him,” Mama said with resolution in her voice. “And watch for cars, Ann-Elizabeth!”
If anyone had witnessed the whole thing, Henry and I must have looked like one of those scenes in a movie where two people who’ve just realized they’re in love run toward each other across some lush, green field. Our field was asphalt, but the love was instant.
I had barely even leaned over before he jumped up and into my arms, anchoring his little paws to my shoulders. My heart clenched with an unbelievable feeling of happiness and joy.
I was actually glad for the awful person who had left him there, glad because it meant this puppy was now mine. I was never going to let anything bad happen to him again.
I never thought then that it wouldn’t be true.
I hopped in the back seat with him huddled against me, mainly so Mama wouldn’t have to look at the two of us and possibly have time to rethink her decision. And two, because as soon as I realized he was covered in seed ticks, I knew they were going to be all over the car by the time we got home. I would need to find a way to clean them out before she saw them.
When we got to the trailer, I hustled him around back and used the water hose to get rid of all the loose ticks still on him. Hoisting his thin little body up, I carried him in the house and found a towel to dry him off. Then I grabbed a few slices of bread and a bowl of water from the kitchen and took him back outside where I set to work picking off ticks for the next two hours.
There were hundreds, and it was a miracle the poor little thing had any blood left in him with all those things trying to suck the life out of him.
Mama called out the back door several times, asking me what I was doing. “Just spiffing him up a bit,” I told her. Even though his coat was dull and dry with lack of care or nutrition, I wanted him looking his best when she laid eyes on him again.
When I was done with the tick-picking, I gave him another bath with some liquid soap and dried him with a new towel. He couldn’t have weighed more than ten pounds soaking wet. His ribs stuck out like he’d never had a decent meal in his life. When I thought to wonder about whether he had any brothers or sisters, I closed my mind to what might have happened to the others. I simply couldn’t think about it.
All my efforts to make Henry impressive had not led to a willingness on Mama’s part to let me have him. That night, when she came to tuck me in, he was already asleep, snuggled up in the curve of my left arm, his soft little head resting on my shoulder.
Mama sat down on the bed next to me, rubbing her hand across my hair. “Ann-Elizabeth,” she said, “we can’t keep him.”
The words felt like someone had just dropped a box of rocks on my chest. “Why?” I could barely hear myself saying the word.
“It costs a lot of money to take care of a dog. He’ll have to go to the vet for shots. We’ll have to buy food for him every week. Have him neutered.”
“What’s neutered?” I had asked.
“So he can’t cause a girl dog to have babies.”
“Well, how would he do that? He’ll always be with me.”
“Ann-Elizabeth-”
“Mama, I’m keeping him,” I said, squeezing him tight against me.
I can still remember the shock on her face. I had never spoken to her in a voice anywhere near this one. Never had any reason, really, to defy her. I didn’t want to then, but I already loved Henry like I had never loved anyone in the world except Mama herself. I didn’t care what I had to give up if it meant we could keep him.
“You can use part of the money you spend for me on his food,” I said. “Or I’ll just share mine with him. And I can do chores for some of our neighbors to help pay for the vet.”
To her credit, I could see how hard it was for Mama to stand her ground. But in spite of all my pleading, she shook her head and stood up. “I can’t take on anymore responsibility, Ann-Elizabeth. I’m barely making ends meet as it is. You’re going to have to let him go in the morning, okay?”
And with that, she left my room.
I cried most of the night, hugging Henry so tight against me, it was a wonder he could sleep at all. But he did. I guess he was that exhausted. I thought about running away from home the way Mama had when she was a girl and taking Henry with me, but I had no idea where we would go or how we would feed ourselves. So I just lay awake, staring at the dark ceiling above my head and wondering why life had to be so unfair.
The next morning, I didn’t get up at my usual time. I stayed in bed, holding him, unwilling to face what was ahead.
There was no avoiding it when Mama knocked on my door and said, “The animal control truck is here, Ann-Elizabeth. Come on and bring him out. I’m sure they’ll be able to find him a good home with someone who can afford to take care of him. At least we kept him from getting hit by a car yesterday.”
I could hear by the note in her voice that there was no point in arguing with her. The tears slid down my face, with no other sound coming from me. I stood up, and Henry rubbed his face against my neck, not looking at Mama, as if he too knew something awful was about to happen, but there was nothing he could do to change it.
