Page 27 of The Heart That Breaks
“It’s not right, Ann-Elizabeth.”
“It’s not forever.”
“You’re brave. Maybe the bravest person I’ve ever known.”
“You haven’t known many people then. And I’ve got Henry to protect me. Would you want to tangle with him?”
“That’s the only good thing about it. He’s not going to let anyone hurt you if he can help it.”
“No, he’s not.”
He takes a step back, clearly reluctant to go. “I’ll see you tomorrow at school?”
“Yes,” I say.
“Don’t forget to try on the dresses. See which one you like.”
“I will.”
“Okay, then,” he says, backing into the dark.
“Hey, Nathan?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks. For the dresses. And for listening.”
“Anytime.”
“‘Night.”
“‘Night,” he calls out and then turning around, jogs back to the Jeep.
I sit down next to Henry, loop my arm around his neck as the engine growls to life and then rolls off down the dark road, headlights flashing on once he’s away from the driveway.
I lean over and kiss the top of Henry’s head, rubbing his left ear. “I know what you’re thinking,” I say softly. “Too good to be true, right?”
Henry sighs, resting his head on my leg, his eyes closing.
“What if it isn’t? Wouldn’t that be great?”
I sit for a moment, listening to the beginning of Henry’s quiet snoring. “Don’t you worry though,” I say. “Our plans are the same. The day I graduate from high school, you and me, we’re out of here.”
Even as I say the words out loud, I feel a stab of guilt for the thought of leaving Mama behind. I don’t want to. But she’s chosen Lance over me and Henry. I don’t know who I’m more protective of. Mama or Henry. I go back and forth. They’re both vulnerable to Lance, even if it’s in different ways.
You would think Mama has the advantage though. She’s a person, after all, who has a car, and if she wanted to, could kick Lance out of our house and never let him come back.
I just pray that we make it to the end of the school year without something awful happening. That I can continue to keep him out of my room.
I shiver at the memory of the last time he’d pushed his way in, newly repulsed by what might have happened if Mama hadn’t come home when she did.
I wonder what Nathan would think about that. But I shut that line of thought off because I don’t want the pureness of what he has shown me so far tainted by the ugliness of Lance’s mean heart.
Henry opens his eyes and looks up at me, and I know he’s felt my fear. “It’s all right,” I say, pulling my blanket up around us both. “You go to sleep.”
He puts his chin back on my leg, but he doesn’t close his eyes right away, as if he’s not convinced we’re safe. I’m not surprised though. Because I’m not convinced either.
*
