Page 35 of The Heart That Breaks
“You know that feeling you get when something you’ve wanted actually happens?”
“Maybe.”
“I’ve got that feeling. Do you?”
She smiles a shy smile, and then nods once. “Yeah,” she says. “I do.”
A rush of pure happiness paints a grin on my face. I turn the key to the BMW, push the button that rolls the top back. When the sky is fully exposed above us, she looks up and drops her head against the seat, smiling her incredible smile. “Awesome,” she says.
I back out of the space, and for the first time maybe in my teenage existence, I feel true gratitude for the fact that I have things to share with Ann-Elizabeth. And I realize as I never have before that it is the sharing that makes them worth having.
*
Ann-Elizabeth
WE GET TO my house in fifteen minutes of blissful driving through town and then onto county roads, the wind lifting the hair from my neck, the sun shining bright on our faces. Nathan blasts Thomas Rhett, and I have never felt so filled with the sheer joy of being alive, absorbing every beat of every song. Every minute or two, I glance at him, his good-looking face relaxed and happy, and I want to pinch myself.
I ask him to stop at the end of the driveway so I can look to make sure Lance and Mama haven’t come home early. The dirt drive in front of our trailer is empty though, and I give him the go ahead. He pulls around to the side where Henry spots us and is an instant bounding bundle of happiness.
We get out of the car, and Nathan goes around back to open the trunk and pull out a pair of metal cutters. I let Henry jump up and give me a hug, giving him a moment to get his wiggles out. I then drop down on my knees and wrap my arms around him to hold him still while Nathan uses the cutters to snap the padlock on Henry’s collar.
Relief cascades over me, and I realize this and this alone could make me love Nathan Hanson.
As soon as Henry steps free of the chain, tears well up in me and pour down my face, as if someone has turned on a faucet and all the sadness and sorrow I’ve felt since Henry was banished from inside our house refuse to be held back.
He puts his hand on the back of my hair, and says, “Hey. What’s wrong?”
I look up at him, smiling in spite of my tears. “Absolutely nothing. Thank you.”
He jumps up and plants his feet on Nathan’s chest, licking his face. Nathan laughs, rubbing his head.
“I brought a new padlock for when we come back, and next time I’ll have a key. Come on, you two,” he says. “We’ve got a band to get started.”
*
ALL THE WAY to Nathan’s house, I keep glancing back at Henry. He’s sitting up in the back seat, his head tipping back and forth in the wind, his pink tongue hanging out in a picture of canine ecstasy. I think about all the hours he’s spent tied on that stupid chain and how incredible it must feel to be free. My mind slips toward the end of this outing and the fact that I will have to return him to it, and I can barely stand the thought of it.
I force myself not to think about it though, focusing on the few hours in front of us where Henry and I both are living a completely different life, free and happy.
*
Nathan
WHEN WE PULL into the driveway of my house, I can feel Ann-Elizabeth’s surprise.
“Wow,” she says. “This is incredible.”
The difference in our lives has never been more apparent or made me more uncomfortable than at this moment, but a glance at her face makes it clear that she’s not resenting me for it. Instead, she’s taking in the admittedly huge house and perfectly mowed yard as if it’s a small slice of heaven.
“Come on,” I say, getting out of the car. “I’ll show y’all around.”
“Is it okay if Henry comes in?” she asks, sliding out her side.
“Of course.”
I flip up my seat so he can jump out, which he does, his tail wagging so hard it’s a blur.
At the front door, I use my key to let us in. “Mom?” I call out.
