Page 28 of The Strawberry Field
That Summer
I HAD NEVER had a friend like Tommy before.
He approached life with a kind of joy I’d only ever known as a little kid. Seventeen, and nothing held him back. He didn’t take from others to feed that joy. It was honest. Light. Generous.
He didn’t lead girls on. He made it clear when he wasn’t looking for anything serious. Somehow, that level of maturity didn’t come across as cold—it was just Tommy. Fun, fair, free.
I wasn’t wired like that.
But I respected it.
And I liked being around it.
As for Sawyer and me, we walked a line that summer. One we both silently agreed not to cross, mostly so we could keep spending time with Tommy. We both adored him, in different ways. And I envied the relationship they had.
One late June afternoon, Tommy and I had the day off. We decided to take his parents’boat out to the Cliffs, a rock formation over the lake with a rope swing tied to a tree at the top. A local daredevil spot.
Tommy invited Cassidy Smith. I knew her from school. She was fun, flirtatious, and not looking for anything complicated. Perfect for Tommy.
I’d considered inviting someone too, but with Sawyer coming, it didn’t feel right. Not for her. And not for me.
Tommy anchored the boat about twenty yards out. We swam to shore and climbed the winding path up the cliff. Tommy and Cassidy walked ahead, laughing, flirting. Sawyer walked quietly in front of me, not once glancing back. I kept my gaze on the path, deliberately avoiding her legs, her bare shoulders, the shape of her in my peripheral vision.
Things between us had changed. And I didn’t know how to change them back.
At the top, we stood on the edge, looking down at the deep water below.
“Who’s going first?” Tommy asked.
“Not me,” Cassidy said quickly.
“You’ve never done it?”
She shook her head.“Heard about it, never tried it. Have you, Sawyer?”
“A few times,” she said.“I can go first.”
“I’ll go,” Tommy said.“Can’t let my little sister show me up.”
“Please,” Sawyer replied.“I’ve done this more times than you.”
“Still gotta protect my manhood.” He grinned, then stepped off the cliff and disappeared into the water.
Cassidy shrieked, then laughed when he surfaced.“You scared me to death!”
“Come on,” Tommy called.“Feels amazing!”
Cassidy followed, launching herself off the rock. She hit the water clean and popped up laughing, Tommy pulling her close and kissing her.
And then it was just me and Sawyer, standing at the edge, alone.
She looked down, meeting my gaze, direct.“Would you be shocked if I said I’ve thought about you kissing me like that?”
The words knocked the air from my lungs.“Sawyer—”
“I know,” she said quickly, still not looking at me.“It’s never going to happen. But that doesn’t mean I don’t think about it.”
I didn’t know how to respond.
