Page 84 of Better in Black
And Emma reached up.
And took her hand.
—
It burned. A small prick, at first, at the center of her palm.
A coldly burning pain like acid flooded her veins. Up her arm, into her shoulder, her chest, her legs, her heart. The ice of it seared through flesh, through bone.
Emma wanted to pull her hand away but she could not will it to move. She could not will her legs to stand. And then she was lying on her back and she was staring up into the dark and she could hear Julian calling for her but she couldn’t answer. She couldn’t move, couldn’t speak—but she could feel.
She could feeleverything.Every grain of sand on her back was agony. Even the breeze felt like a razor, raking across her flesh. She was a raw nerve.
She could feel the edge of a blade pressed to her throat and oh by the Angel, it burned.
“What did you do to her?” Julian’s voice sounded dim, far. As if he was speaking through glass.
Thule Emma hoisted Emma’s body up, and shoved her into asitting position against the rock wall. No doubt she wanted Emma to watch Julian’s face as she died.
Jules. She could only see him barely through the blackness dotting her vision. His face was a mask, expressionless. Emma knew what that meant: He was terrified.
“I said,” Julian snarled,“what did you do to her?”
“Drevak demon poison,” the Other Emma said. She still sounded weak, she was still coughing—her sickness hadn’t been a trick. It just wasn’t a match for her rage. “Don’t worry, it’s not fatal. I gather it causes a delightful amount of pain.” She squeezed Emma’s wrist. Emma felt the pressure of her fingers like a thousand tiny knives, and, somewhere deep inside herself, screamed and screamed. “But it won’t kill her. That wouldn’t be any fun. I want to feel her blood run through my fingers. But I want to see the look onyourface more.”
Emma tried to speak to Julian with her eyes.Don’t do anything foolish. Whatever happens to me, you need to destroy her.
Even her tears burned.
“If you hurt her,” Julian said, evenly, “I will kill you.”
The ground beneath her was wet. Tidewater was rushing into the cave. Emma knew these caves well: The water would rise higher and faster until there was no way out. If they were still here when it happened, the ocean would carry them all away.
Good.
“Better death than a life without my Julian,” Thule Emma said. “Vengeance is the only purpose left to me. And I know you understand that, because you fell in love with it. Even in this pathetic form. You loved her fire. Her rage. You miss it, don’t you? I saw the way you looked at each other in my world—I recognized desire. But now? Something’s changed.”
It was like a nightmare, Emma’s own voice speaking her own worst fears.
“Is that what you think about, Julian, when you sit on the roof in the moonlight? Are you wishing on a star to get the old Emma back? It’s almost like you were wishing for me.”
The water was rising. It soothed the burning, and Emma wondered if it would be so bad, the ocean rising up, stealing her away.
“Maybe you’re right,” Julian said. He sounded defeated. “When I look at you…I see the Emma I fell in love with. A vengeful goddess, clothed in light.”
Emma had never more desperately wanted to move than she did right now. Her whole body was fire, but hearing Julian speak those words…
“You’re lying,” said the Other Emma, but there was a sharp tension in her voice. “You don’t really mean that. I’m going to kill her, your Emma. Even if you kill me as I sink the blade in, I’ll die happy, knowing you’ll die without her.”
He won’t,Emma thought.You don’t understand this world.This Julian loved more than just Emma,livedfor more than just Emma. He loved Dru and Ty and Helen and Mark. If he lost Emma, he would survive it, just as he had survived losing Livvy. He would mourn, but he would live.I am his love, but I am not his everything.
She imagined she could hear the Other Emma’s response echoing in her head.What kind of sorry excuse for love is that?
You don’t understand,Emma whispered back silently to the Emma in her mind.Love multiplies love. The more Julian loves his family, the more he can love me. You had all your Julian’s love, but what was it worth when he was incapable of caring for anyone or anything else?
Julian dropped his seraph blade to the ground. He movedtoward Thule Emma, who took a step back in surprise. But he kept coming toward her, and now the Other Emma wasn’t moving—she was standing still, waiting as Julian approached her.
The water was lapping at Emma’s legs now. The ocean was unpredictable. The tide could rise slowly—or a wave could crash, water could flood in, and Emma would float, frozen in the sea. A corpse before death, drifting into the abyss.
