Page 75 of John Wilder Gets Schooled
“Yeah,” I said. “Just… yeah. You’re the best, you know?” My throat ached and my eyes stung. I hadn’t cried in years, not since I’d first held Gracie in my arms, and this felt almost the same. I was overwhelmed with the sheer happiness of being here in this moment with Avery, and at the same time totally fucking terrified I was going to mess everything up. I could hardly even meet Avery’s worried gaze. “I’m okay, I promise.”
Except I was definitely crying, which was humiliating. Stupid to be embarrassed since Avery had literally had his fingers up my ass more than once, but I didn’t make the rules.
Avery didn’t say anything, just stood up and moved aroundbehind me. He leaned down and put his arms around me and pressed his cheek to mine.
I closed my eyes, and the moment stretched out. The tears stopped, and the sting of humiliation faded into something warm and safe, just like last night when he’d been stroking my hair.
Avery turned his head and pressed a kiss to my temple. “One day we’re going to talk about everything that happened to you that makes you think you don’t deserve good things, Johnny. Also, if someone burns down your dad’s church, I might need an alibi, just saying.”
I couldn’t stop the strangled laugh that escaped me. “Okay.”
He kissed me again. “I’m joking about the arson thing. Probably.”
“I know.” I opened my eyes. “I meant what I said. You’re the best.”
“I bet you say that to all the boys that make you breakfast.”
“Just the ones who are also my boyfriend.”
He hugged me tighter for a second before he released me. “You’d better eat them before they go cold.”
I took a deep breath, let it out, and ate my breakfast.
Avery sat down and picked up his own sandwich, then said, “Oh, and by the way, did you know there was a betting pool at school over when I’d get up the nerve to ask you out?”
I stopped with my sandwich halfway to my mouth. “Wait. What do you mean, when you’d get the nerve to ask me?”
Avery grinned. “I told you, you’re a catch. And I’m awkward and kinda shy. And also Mrs. Freeman is now…” He paused for a second, his brow scrunching in concentration. “Ninety bucks richer, so you’re probably her favorite parent right now.”
“Mrs. Freeman, my grade-school teacher, was betting on whether you’d ask me out?” I blinked at him.
“Not whether. When. Apparently, I’m not very good at hiding when I like someone. And Ireallylike you, Johnny.”
I opened my mouth to ask him why, then swallowed the words before they had a chance to escape. Maybe I wasn’teverything I was supposed to be, everything everyone had expected, but I was doing my best, and I was doing right by Gracie and the family I’d chosen for myself, and that wasn’t nothing. To the right people, that waseverything. So instead, I said, “I might have a new job. Steve is selling the business, but he’s arranged for me to talk to a guy about a plumbing apprenticeship.”
“Oh wow!” Avery said. “Is this where I tell you the pipes make a weird noise whenever I turn the hot water on? Should pipes thump like that? How long until you’re qualified to take a look?” His eyes were dancing.
“Probably a good while,” I said, laughing. “I have to call the guy and get details.”
Avery nodded. “Are you happy about it?”
“Not that Steve’s selling the business, I guess, but it’s a good opportunity. It means more money, eventually at least, and it’s steady work. No more climbing up onto roofs.”
“No more nail guns,” Avery said with a smile.
“Hey, you should be thanking that nail gun,” I said, returning his smile. “I might never have kissed you otherwise.”
“You would have kissed me eventually,” he said. “It just would have taken you longer to get there.”
“Oh, you think?”
“Absolutely. Also technically, we should thank the Percocet.”
I liked how he saidwe—like we were both winners here. And looking at him across the little table, I felt the same. I’d never connected with anyone the way I connected with Avery. I didn’t know what exactly made him special, but I did know that hewasspecial—to me, at least. Maybe to someone else out there in the world he was just an ordinary guy, but not to me. Never to me. To me, he was someone I could see a future with, and I’d never had that before, not even with Cassidy. I loved her, but that was because we’d grown close in the years since Gracie was born. If Cassidy had never gotten pregnant, we probably would have gone our separate ways after high school and not thought twice about it. We’d been typical kids. But adulthood had hit us bothfucking hard in our faces that last year of school, and now we were like soldiers who’d both survived the same battle, and so we knew we could always count on each other. If she ever needed something, I’d be there, and she’d do the same for me.
But Cassidy had never made bubbles burst in my bloodstream with just a single smile, and I knew she’d say the same thing about me. She’d never made my heart forget how to beat when she kissed me, not like Avery could.
I’d never wanted to use Cassidy as a pillow while I napped.
