Page 57 of Not So Happily Ever After (British Bad Boys)
I laugh, as I scrawl my signature in the bottom corner. “Keep dreaming.”
“I’m serious.”
“You forget. I’m not planning on making this my career.” Because that would be insane. How many artists can make a living doing something they love? Best case scenario, it’s my therapy for stress relief.
“I know, but you can still do this in your downtime, right?”
“Yeah, well, I don’t get that much free time at Uni.” Not exactly true, although I’ll have a lot less next term as I need to work on my grades. It’s almost—but not quite—enough to cast a shadow on the day.
An easy silence falls between us. I shuffle closer to him and rest my head on his shoulder. It’s funny—he’s the only guy I’ve dated where I don’t get fidgety if the conversation lapses.
We’re not dating.
Okay, fake-dating. What’s the difference?
A ragged sigh escapes before I can stop it. It doesn’t matter how much I enjoy being with him, or how badly I’ve missed his friendship. There’s a nonnegotiable end date in sight.
I’m not stupid. After this week we’ll hardly ever see each other again. Which is just as well. Despite my grand adulting plans, I’m not sure I could go back to beingjust good friendswith him.
By the time you go back to Uni, he’ll be out of your system, remember?It won’t matter if we see each other or not, will it?
The echoey silence in my head isn’t exactly reassuring.
“Can I ask you something?” His question strikes me as ridiculously funny and shatters my gloom.
“You’ve seen me in the buff and watched me draw. Which is almost as personal as seeing me naked, now I think about it. You can ask me anything.”
“Are you happy at Uni?”
Well, fuck. I didn’t expect you to ask me that.
I scramble for the right response, but it’s like my brain’s shut down. What does he expect me to say? No one’s ever asked me this before, and for a scary second, I almost tell him the truth.
Can’t do that.All I need to do is put on my game face and tell himof course I am,but the words stick in my throat. I can’t lie to him, even though it’d make things so much easier.Not telling him the truth, though.“What makes you ask that?”
He shrugs, and a frown slashes his forehead. Which shouldn’t be so sexy but, hey… This is Will. Even his breathing is sexy.
Focus, Mac.
“I don’t know. I’ve just been getting this weird vibe. I get that the course is a lot harder than you expected, but it’s more than that. Like you don’t want to talk about it at all.”
I give a fake laugh, but inside I’m reeling. I always thought I managed to hide my true feelings so well. “Who wants to listen to me bang on about Uni?”Please don’t ask me anything else.But it’s half-hearted and pathetic. Because a part of medoeswant him to ask.
Because a part of me wants to spill my guts.
Never…
“I was standing right next to you when we were at Blitz last week, when you and Alice were talking. It was like you kept deflecting every time she asked you anything. And that’s not like you. Is something else going on, Mac?”
He noticed that?
Since when has he been so perceptive? I don’t know whether I’m impressed or horrified. Because if he’s noticed, who else has?
Nobody.I’m overreacting, as usual. All he picked up was how I didn’t volunteer a lot of information. There are a million reasons why I might not have done that, which have nothing to do with the truth.
He asked me if I was enjoying the course the day we visited Jake in hospital.
Okay, so he’s far more observant than I’ve ever given him credit for. He’s far moreeverythingthan I’ve assumed over the years. But that doesn’t give me the right to dump my deepest problems on him. All I need to say is everything’s fine. That I just don’t like talking about Uni. That the course iswayharder than I imagined—not lying there. Come to think of it, I alreadyhavetold him that.
