Page 37 of Not So Happily Ever After (British Bad Boys)
He sits on the edge of the bed and places his hand on my calf as if he’s staking his claim.Reel it back, Mac.I’m relieved the cup hides my silly smile.
“You okay, Mac?”
I fall back to earth so fast it hurts.Hello again, reality.How stupid of me to think we could just pretend nothing had happened last night and get away without having to discuss it. The one other time I woke up next to him, I was under the delusion that, just maybe, there was something special between us. Besides the great sex.
Wrong.That delusion shattered within minutes. We even trashed our friendship.
Oh fuck, I don’t want this to ruin things between us.What was Ithinking?
I ignore my rising panic.
“What do you mean?”
His smile looks strained, and unease snakes through me.Don’t say you regret last night.I’d die.
“About last night.” He pauses, and my stomach churns. If I could just get my brain into gear, I could come up with a brilliant one-liner. Something to stop him saying…whatever’s tying him up in knots.
My mind’s a scary blank. I take another sip of tea, so I don’t have to keep smiling at him.
He clears his throat and shifts on the bed. “Are you okay about what happened?”
My panic deflates, leaving me lightheaded with relief. “Why wouldn’t I be? It was fun, wasn’t it?”
Good response. Keep things light. Don’t let him guess how much it meant to you.
Some of the tension leaves him, but there’s still an odd wariness, as though he’s expecting me to scratch his eyes out at any second. “It was great. I just don’t want you regretting anything, that’s all.”
For the second time, my mind flies back to the only other time I slept with him. Or, more to the point, the morning afterward. Embarrassed heat curls low in my stomach, spreading upward. If I blush, I’m going to beso mad. There’s only one way to deflect. And that’s by grabbing the offensive by the proverbial horns.
“At least this time my brother didn’t barge in and spoil the moment.”
Will doesn’t laugh, which was my hoped-for result. He looks like I just dealt him a low blow. And now that my tongue’s loosened by tea, it won’t bloody stop.
“Not that I’m saying Iwantedhim to find me in your bed. But hiding under your covers isn’t the best moment of my life.”
Oh fuck. Shut up.
“Yeah, sorry about that.” He looks uncomfortable.That makes two of us.“It was instinctive. I’ve always meant to tell you that. Never got the chance.”
Move on, Mac.I don’t want to rehash the past. But my brain doesn’t get the memo. “That’s okay. I always understood why you did it. It was the my-dick’s-bigger-than-yours chat you and Lucas had that was the real winner.”
What. The. Fuck?It’s like I’m trying to antagonize him deliberately. But I’m not. I don’t know what I’m doing. Self-sabotage, much?
You’re telling him because you want him to know how much that hurt.
Sod off.
“Uh.” He looks like I just punched him in the solar plexus. “What?”
All I want to do is tell him it doesn’t matter, because this issonot the conversation I want right now. Or ever. But since I started it, it’s only fair I finish it. I just hope my big mouth hasn’t managed to kill the mood between us.
Yeah, keep hoping.
“The boy talk. You know.” By the look on his face, he still doesn’t have a clue. Heat crawls up the back of my neck. “Notches on the bedpost?”Please don’t make me draw you a diagram.
“Jesus.” A stricken expression flashes across his face. “I didn’t mean any of that crap. I was just working on autopilot, trying to get him out of the room without making him suspicious.”
“I know.” Well, I’d sort of guessed, but it had taken a while before the sting completely died. “It was…”Let go of the fucking horns, Mac.I slump against the wall and groan. “Seriously, can we change the subject now?”
