Page 22 of It's Going to Be a Chrome Christmas
She put a hand on his chest. “I’m sorry.”
He shrugged. “Can’t miss what you never had.”
Her hand moved from his chest to his face. “Yes, you can.” Her eyes granted him unfettered access to her soul. She knew of the pain of missing a parent that had never been there. “Is your grandmother still around?”
He nodded. “She lives in the panhandle. She’s too far for me to visit on furlough, and it’s too far for her to come down just for a day visit since she can’t stay in the house. I mean to go see her as soon as my parole is up.” Trixie bit her lip again, the question distinct on her face. Cayden put his hand over hers on his cheek. “I also mean to come back after I do.”
Her eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. Still, she protested. “It’s too soon for you to make such promises?—”
“Bullshit.” He kissed her palm and then dropped her hand to his chest over his heart. “You can’t tell me you don’t feel it. You can’t tell me you’re considering giving your virginity to a manyou don’t have feelings for or a man you don’t see a future with. I’ve known you for a little under two weeks, Trix, and I already know that’s a boldface lie.”
She lowered her gaze. “I just meant, we don’t know what’s going to happen.”
“True,” he allowed. “Anything is possible.” He forced her chin up. “I can handle the unexpected, Trix, as hard as it might be to deal with at the time. What I can’t handle is you putting an expiration date on us before we’ve even started. Don’t assume we’re doomed just because neither of us has experience in relationships.”
“Why were you arrested?” she blurted out, shocking him.
Definitely not the question Cayden had assumed she was going to ask. “You know why. I stole a car.”
She shook her head, black strands of hair falling forward. “I meantwhy. How did you mess up, get caught?”
Oh, that. Well, Cayden had claimed he was an open book. Might as well start this off with some honesty. “I didn’t mess up. One of my club brothers did.”
She looked up, obviously confused. “You took the fall for him?”
“Don’t make it out to be heroic. It’s not like I took a bullet for the guy. I might not have done the crime I went to prison for, but I sure as hell did equal to it and more. I deserved my sentence.”
“Why?”
“Because whether I felt I needed the money, felt I wasowedthe money for the shit life I was dealt, I had no right to take what wasn’t mine. It took me a long time to come to terms with that realization, baby girl. ‘Poor orphaned Cayden…’” he said mockingly. With a shrug, he added, “I needed to grow up andlivemy life instead of pissing on it.”
She watched him closely, but he saw no pity in her eyes. He appreciated that. “That’s big of you. Not many people would take the time to self-reflect like that. Is that why you took the fall?”
Cayden paused, wanting to make sure he worded his reply correctly. “It’s going to sound weird, but I felt like it was imminent. I was already tiring of the lifestyle. Don’t get me wrong, the money was great, butIwasn’t great. I was…drowning, I guess.” He looked down, studying her hand still gripped in his. “When Bu—when my club brother messed up, it was like this lightbulb went off in my head. No one could call me a coward or threaten me for quitting the life if I was in jail. And I felt like I needed some me-time.”
“Jail was your version of a vacation?”
Cayden snorted, picking up on the humor in her voice. “Far from it, but it was an escape. I made several promises to myself before I got out, before my parole was granted. I called it ‘Project Cayden 2.0’. I got rid of all the things I clung to prior to my arrest. I made a list of priorities to accomplish, and I swore to myself that I’d never go back to that life.” He gripped her hand tighter, bringing the back of it to his lips. “Finding you was a happy accident, but one I’ll gladly accept.”
Her blush returned. “I like Cayden 2.0.”
He smiled against her skin, loving the sound of his name from her lips. She might not realize it, but that was the first time she’d said his name to him. “Good. You’ll never have to meet the old Cayden, I swear to you.”
“Was he so bad?”
Cayden was quiet for a moment. “No, but he also wasn’t good.”
He felt her hand run through his hair. She pressed herself against him. “I feel like I could talk to you for hours.”
“Four more months,” he said softly, pressing her head against his lips. “Then you can have me however and whenever you want.”
“Seems like a lifetime.”
Cayden nodded in agreement. “You do know you never told me your conditions.”
He felt her smile against him. “Seems silly now. I wanted to make sure you understood that I did want to try, and then about my lack of experience.”
“Those aren’t conditions.”
