Page 188 of Love Me Stalk Me
"No, no, no. Don't 'Amanda' me with that tone." She wags a finger at me, nearly spilling her wine in the process. "I know you said he was taking care of you this week and not to worry about you, but bitch—" She slaps her hand against the couch for emphasis, the velvet cushion making a dull thud under her palm. "I want all the juicy details. As juicy as you can possibly get them. Like, if this were a fruit, I want it to be a watermelon on a hot summer day."
I groan, covering my face with my hands, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks unrelated to the alcohol.
There is not enough wine in the world for this conversation. Not enough wine in this apartment, in this city, possibly on the entire eastern seaboard.
Amanda stares at me, eyes practically glowing with anticipation, her entire body vibrating with barely contained excitement. She's like a bloodhound that's caught the scent of something interesting, and I know from experience that she won't let this go until she gets what she wants.
I let out a tense breath, rolling my shoulders, bracing myself for the inevitable. There's no escaping this—not when Amanda has that look in her eyes, not when she's already picked up on whatever tells my faceis giving away.
"Okay, fine," I say, taking a quick gulp of wine for courage, the alcohol burning slightly on its way down. "We hooked up."
The scream Amanda lets out is ear-shattering, high-pitched and prolonged like she's auditioning for a horror movie. It bounces off the brick walls, reverberates through the apartment, probably terrorizing her neighbors who are undoubtedly wondering if someone is being murdered.
I swear to God, my eardrums vibrate with the force of it.
"I KNEW IT!" she shrieks, shaking my arm, her excitement making her grip surprisingly strong. "I FUCKING KNEW IT!"
I flinch, watching as drops of red wine splash onto my shorts. "Jesus, Amanda, calm the fuck down. The neighbors are going to call the police."
"Do not tell me to calm down! This is not a calming moment!" Her eyes are wide with delight, her smile almost manic. "I want details. All of them. Every single one. What was it like? How do his muscles feel? Is he as strong as he looks? How big is his cock?"
The wine hits wrong, catching in my throat. I cough, eyes watering, and feel my cheeks blaze like I just confessed a crime.
"Oh my God." I cough again, covering my face with my hands, mortification washing over me in waves. "There is something severely wrong with you."
Amanda grins, completely unapologetic, not even attempting to deny it. She scoots closer on the couch, her knees bumping against mine.
"I'm serious, Izzy. I need to know everything. I have a vested interest in this relationship."
"A vested interest?" I deadpan, raising a skeptical eyebrow.
She nods vigorously, sending a few strands of blonde hair tumbling from her messy bun, which somehow only makes her look prettier. "You've suffered long enough, bestie. You spent three years with a human potato chip.”
I give her a confused look. “A human potato chip?”
She nods. “Tasteless, thin, and leaving you with nothing but disappointment and regret.”
I shake my head. “Honestly, where do you come up with this stuff?”
“Doesn’t matter. I need to live through you now."
I groan, pressing the cool rim of my glass against my temple, trying to soothe the embarrassment that's heating my skin. "You're terrible."
"I'm honest. There's a difference."
I roll my eyes, but can't help the small smile that tugs at my lips. This is Amanda—filter-free, boundary-challenged, but fiercely loyal and genuinely investedin my happiness.
"Okay, well." I pause, debating how much to actually say, how much I want to share even with my best friend. Some things feel too new, too precious to expose to outside scrutiny. "I did have the most mind-blowing orgasm of my life, if that's what you're asking."
Amanda gasps like she's just won the lottery, clutching her chest dramatically. "You bitch."
I laugh, shaking my head at her reaction.
"No, seriously. You absolute bitch." She grabs a monogrammed throw pillow and smacks me with it, not hard enough to hurt but with enough force to make me lean back. "I can't believe you've been holding out on me!"
I swat at her, ducking out of the way of another pillow attack. "Why am I getting hit for this? I thought you'd be happy for me!"
"I am happy for you! I'm also insanely jealous and need more information immediately." She huffs, setting the pillow down but fixing me with an intense stare. "How does he fuck? Is he dominant? He looks dominant. Tell me he's dominant."
