Page 112 of Special Delivery
‘Can you believe that kid?’ she fumed. ‘Did he grow up with the Amish or something? Does he think women are still milking cows and churning butter like the suffragettes never existed? I mean, do I look like I can’t handle myself with a chainsaw?’ She glanced down at herself. ‘Actually don’t answer that.’
She looked back up at James. The corners of his mouth were struggling to stay neutral.
‘What?’ she demanded.
James’s face relented and a wide grin appeared, blinding like the sun. ‘Nothing’s changed, I see.’
Poppy glared. ‘Are you patronising me?’
‘By definition, no,’ replied James. ‘I never feel any inch of control when you’re around, hence the lack of condescension.’
Poppy narrowed her eyes. Maeve was still in his arms.
‘I was admiring your commitment to exposing unconscious biases and’—James paused—‘your commitment to DIY projects.’
Now he was definitely making fun of her. It was already too hot in this godforsaken town; she did not need James swanning in being so handsome and distracting when she knew he’d moved to Melbourne six weeks ago.
‘Why are you here?’
‘I would have thought that was obvious.’
‘You’re buying timber?’
‘I came to see you.’ He was serious now. Maeve’s head was on his shoulder.
‘How did you know I was here?’
‘I can’t tell you that,’ replied James.
‘Why?’
‘Because it’s kind of stalker-ish.’
Poppy pulled her daughter out of his arms, her fingertips buzzing as they brushed his skin. She wondered if he felt it too—a pull in the stomach, an attraction she couldn’t control. She couldn’t look at him holding Maeve anymore. It was too confusing.
‘Tell me,’ she ordered.
James raked a hand through his hair. ‘To cut a long story short, I rang Kate, who rang April, who messaged Dani, who rang you and then called April, who rang Kate, who rang me, and now here we are. Though I’m glossing over the bits where each of them independently reached out to lecture me about the broken heart.’
Poppy bristled. ‘I never told any of them I had a broken heart.’
‘I never said it was yours,’ James said quietly.
Poppy swallowed. There was fear in her throat but there was a flicker of hope too.
‘Why are you here?’ she asked again. ‘You live in Melbourne.’
‘I did move to Melbourne,’ James agreed, nodding slowly.
Poppy felt a pent-up tension in her chest deflate. Hehadmoved to Melbourne; it hadn’t been a bad dream.
Maeve reached for James and he stuck his finger out for her to latch on to. They were linked now. Poppy holding Maeve, Maeve holding James.
‘It was all going perfectly,’ James continued. ‘I was meeting great people, I had this shiny apartment, I was walking distance to the MCG and twenty-seven cafes or something. But thenI realised nothing actually felt real. It was easy, it was okay, it was good even, but it wasn’t me. I was doing what I thought Ishouldwant but I hadn’t considered what I actually wanted.’
His voice was soft now, like a breeze. The sounds of nearby shoppers had faded to silence. Maeve was uncharacteristically silent.
‘I was trying to kickstart my life by forcing a big change but I realised I didn’t need to manufacture an artificial turning point to push me forward. My turning point came twelve months ago and it led me to exactly where I wanted to be and I was too dumb to realise.’ He shook his head. ‘I didn’t need to move to a big city to find myself. I know who I am already. I’m a boring loser who loves his mum and family and dog, and I love my cricket team and I fucking love country music, and I realised I actually hate hipster cafes where the music is too loud and the coffee comes in weird cups without handles, and sometimes I like watching TV on a Saturday night and not socialising, and sometimes I go to the gym just to see people and belong somewhere, and sometimes I smile and nod because I can’t be bothered with conflict, and sometimes I do get angry and that’s okay, because I’ve realised I don’t have to be perfect and no-one is.’ James paused and took a deep breath. ‘So, when I realised I didn’t even like the coffee down there, I had to ask myself the obvious question.’
