Page 15 of Power Moves
‘Fromme?’
‘Ideally I would never request assistance from you, Archibald, but since you’re the only person here, by default of our geographic proximity, Iamasking you. So can you help me or what?’
Archie hands the zipper back to me and crosses his arms. ‘Nah.’
‘What the hell?!’
‘You asked me if I could help and I politely declined.’
‘It was hardly polite!’
‘True,’ he says. ‘I should have said, “No thank you, Millsy. I do not wish to help you. In fact, my greatest wish is that you remain in that dragon costume forever. It really highlights your figure.”’ He pokes my dragon pec, which is possibly a dragon boob. ‘Ask me nicely.’
‘Fine.’ I arrange my face into my most courteous expression and take a deep breath. ‘Can you please help me?’
‘Nah, still not feeling it.’
‘For god’s sake!’ I kick away a few basketballs and sink onto my knees. I place my hands in prayer pose at my chest. ‘Dearest Archibald, whom I respect deeply as a journalist despite you having been a grade-A jock-head during your university days when you deemed me too uncool to be your acquaintance. I acknowledge that you are now one of Australia’s leading political journalists, and that you are probably making heaps of money to add to the riches gained from your career in professional rugby. As a side note, I also commend you for your Walkley nomination last year and your proficiency on the dating apps, which may or may not be directly attributableto the aforementioned career in professional sports. So, in summary, you seem to be a very successful person, and thus, I respect you deeply—when it behoves me to do so. Therefore, in conclusion, and in the name of Neil Armstrong, Louis Armstrong, Lance Armstrong, and all other humans who have achieved great miracles, whether through assistance of performance-enhancing drugs or not, can youplease, with cherries on top, help me get out of this dragon costume?’
‘What the actual …?’
‘I was trying to make it sound impressive.’
‘I think under all that drivel you just gave me the biggest roasting of my life.’
‘Accidental,’ I say, standing up and brushing the dust off my dragon thighs. ‘Insulting you comes so naturally.’
Archie puts his hands on my shoulders to spin me around to face the window and my dragon tail whips him in the calves. ‘I never thought you were uncool,’ he says, kicking the dragon tail away as he inspects the zipper.
‘Could have fooled me,’ I say, ignoring the brush of his fingers at the base of my neck. ‘You never spoke to me.’
Archie was always the quiet giant in a gang full of quick-lipped testosterone. I know he knew who I was, but we were the kind of acquaintances whose eyes would meet across the room before quickly darting away.
‘Younever spoke tome,’ he says. He pulls at the zipper and I accidentally stumble back into him before righting myself. He slides his fingers under the neck of the costume, as if testing how securely the fabric is connected to the zip. ‘I think I can rip it apart,’ he says.
My back stiffens under his touch. ‘Okay, but close your eyes when the zip gets further down. I don’t want you seeing anything you shouldn’t.’
‘Millsy, we’ve been to the beach together. I’ve seen you in a bikini before.’
I roll my eyes. ‘This is very different. And plus, we never went to the beach together. We were just there at the same time, and we had mutual friends, and the clumps of beach-goers just kind of merged. It was circumstantial. Never by design.’
Archie’s fingers wrench the upper teeth of the zipper apart with a tiny crack. ‘How is it different? You’re not wearing a matching set?’
‘Seriously, Archibald. Do you know me at all? Of course it’s a matching set. But when there’s lace instead of cossie material, it’s completely different. Like, if you saw me wearing this set on the beach, I’m pretty sure you’d avert your eyes from the second-hand embarrassment of seeing me wear my underwear in public.’
Archie’s fingers go still. ‘Just to be clear, are you actually asking me to check out your underwear to validate this hypothesis?’
‘No!’ I shriek. ‘I’m trying to achieve the opposite.’
‘Okay, then we need to stop talking about your lacy red underwear.’
‘I never said it was red! It’s black!’
Archie laughs quietly to himself. ‘My brain immediately went to red.’
‘You can get your head out of Tinder, Archibald. My underwear is a very boring black.’
‘Lace,’ he adds, and I canfeelhis smirk.
