Page 112 of Dance of Defiance
ROMAN
He’s fuckinginsane.
My pulse thuds heavily, my skin tingling as I re-read the text that’s just popped up on my phone.
Val
I’ve been dreaming about your cock.
I’ve had girls sext me before—nudes, flirty messages, whatever. It’s part of the game, and I play it when it comes up, even if I feel that I’m—I'll admit it—forcing it a little.
It’s something I’ve been trying to come to a reckoning with as this…thingwith Val becomes more and more difficult to ignore, or write off, or pretend was just a biological reaction, or me being drunk, or any other patently stupid excuse.
The truth is, when he touches me or even looks at me the way he does…I like it.
A lot.
I like it so much that it’s all I want, and all I think about later, after he’s gone or I’ve pushed him away and stormed off like an angsty teenager trying to “figure myself out”.
I’m twenty-nine fucking years old. I shouldn’t be “figuring out” anything. I should know who I am by now. I goddamndid, before that asshole barged into my life.
But now I’m stuck with this…thinglurking in the back of my mind that stares back at me when I look in the mirror, whispering “queer” or “pidoraz” into my ear.
You’re a sissy.
You’re weak.
You’re not fit to lead the Bratva with a perversion like yours corrupting your thoughts.
Be a fucking MAN.
And even when the voice in my head isn’t trying to tear me apart from the inside—when it grows tired of going scorched-earth on me—it’s still there, whispering quietly as I try and fall asleep.
Are you gay?
Well…ARE you?
And I never have an answer. Not a yes. But not a no, either.
I don’t know.
My phone dings again. I glance at it, and my face instantly heats when I see the new text.
Val
My dick misses you, wreckage.
Fucking hell. I shouldhatethat nickname. Except…I don’t.
“Because you wreck me.”
No one’s ever had a nickname for me. I mean, I’ve had girls call me babe, or sexy, or whatever. But those never sent little flutters of heat through my chest, or triggered a slithering, coiling sensation deep inside.
My phone dings again, and this time, my jaw hits the floor.
Val
See? ;-)
