Page 192 of Dance of Defiance
“Still, you should eat something.”
“Actually… I’d love a fucking cigarette.”
I make a face. “You…don’t smoke.”
“I know.”
“And you hate the smell of them.”
He sighs, twisting to look at me. “It just sounds… I dunno. Good right now?”
“No fucking kidding,” I grumble darkly.
He cocks a brow. “So, can I bum one?”
I shake my head. “No.”
Roman frowns. “I’m serious.”
“So am I.”
His frown deepens into a glare. “Look, I know you’re trying to help, but I can only deal withonedenied vice at a fucking time. Soplease?—”
“I literallydon’t have any, Roman. Not anymore.”
He looks puzzled for a second, then blinks. “Wait, did you…?”
I nod.
“Quit,” I shrug. “Figured I’d join team healthy.”
A smile creeps over his face as he presses his forehead to mine. “I’m so proud of you,” he murmurs. “Really.”
“What can I say. You inspired me.”
“Val, I…” He closes his eyes. “Thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me.”
“I think I do,” he murmurs. “Pretty sure it’s fair to say you saved my life.”
I smirk. “Oh my God, when did you become such a drama queen?”
He winces a little as he lifts a hand to flip me off.
“Seriously, though, how are you?” I frown as I cup his face.
“I…” He sighs and looks away. “I feel like shit. Like, actual shit.” He shakes his head before he drags his gaze back to me. “I…I don’t want to ever do that again,” he says quietly. “I don’t think Icould.”
I nod, wrapping my arms around him a little tighter. He shifts, twisting in my arms and resting his face against my chest.
It occurs to me that I’ve never had this.
I mean, I’ve held people before. But I’ve never had actual intimacy. As I hold Roman, I’m not doing it just because I want to fuck him, or am counting down the secondsafterfucking him until I can extricate myself from the situation and leave.
I’m holding him because I care about him. A lot.
I’m fucking crazy about him.
