Page 66 of You Chive Me Crazy
“You betcha,” Lita said. “We had a bit of a mad rush about an hour ago, one person with a snake bite on the caboose, followed by an ingrown toenail, and then a kid who complained about his poop hurting. The boy failed to mention that he’d eaten two bags of hot and spicy pork rinds while his parents were out shopping.” She laughed. “Thank God we’ve got a chance to breathe now. Did Lucas bring you against your will again?”
I smirked. “He’s behaving . . . for the moment.”
“It’s the calm before the storm.” Lucas winked. “I like to be unpredictable.”
Lita playfully twirled a strand of her hair around her index finger and leaned in closer to Lucas. “Spontaneity is the spice of life. Zoe, if you ever want to trade men, you just let me know.”
“I heard that,” the male voice yelled from the back office.
Lita waved it off. “I’m still torturing my husband.” She giggled. “But seriously, Zoe, you look fantastic. Obviously, Lucas has been taking good care of you.”
I nodded and squeezed his arm. “I have to say he has a good bedside manner. He’s been watching over me like a mother hen.”
“Nothing wrong with that,” Lita said. “But you should draw the line if he tries to chew your food for you.” She squawked with laughter, which made me laugh since she sounded like Alexa.
The nurse approached and grabbed a clipboard from Lita. “The doctor is ready for you, Zoe.”
Dr. Bonebrake gave me a thorough physical, checking my reflexes, balance, and cognitive function. “Have you been experiencing any confusion, having concentration problems, or suffering from irritability?”
“Except for the occasional wobbliness, no, nothing out of the ordinary that you warned me about,” I said.
Dr. Bonebrake was jotting down notes on his clipboard. “Any difficulty sleeping?”
“Well, yes, for a few weeks.”
“Hmmm, so it startedbeforeyou had the concussion.”
“Yes. Except for last night.”
“What was different about last night?” Dr. Bonebrake asked.
I was strapped to a hunky man, that’s what.
“I’m not sure,” I said. “But I’m guessing my sleeping issues the last few weeks have to do with the food festival and me worrying about everything going according to plan. I’ve also been having the weirdest dreams. Just last night, I dreamed Lucas confessed he had feelings for me.” I shook my head, amused.
“What’s so weird about that?” Dr. Bonebrake looked confused. “You’re married.”
I backtracked quickly. “Oh, yeah. Sorry. I meant to say he confessed his undying love for me in the dream while he was standing on one leg like a pink flamingo.” My lying skills were horrible, but I laughed, imagining Lucas in such a position, then continued the lie. “Then Lucas challenged David Beckham to a duel, both vying to be my husband.”
“And who won?” he asked.
I frowned and came up with what I hoped was my last lie. “I woke up right in the middle because I had to pee.”
Dr. Bonebrake shook his head, looking disappointed. “I hate when that happens.” He chuckled. “Yes, your dream is odd, but nothing to be concerned about. Dreams can be strange. I have them all the time. Last night, I had a dream that I was a pirate, sailing the high seas in search of fortune and gold. I had a crew of misfit pirates, and we were all singing sea shanties and drinking rum.”
“Sounds totally normal,” I said, chuckling. “Did you find a treasure chest?”
“We did, but when we opened it, it was full of tacos instead of gold. So, we had a Cinco de Mayo party on the beach instead of continuing our quest, but the party ended abruptly when we ran out of guacamole.”
I smirked. “I hate when that happens.”
“You and me both.” Dr. Bonebrake flipped a couple of pages on his clipboard. “Well, the good news is, it’s possible you never had a concussion.”
I blinked. “Pardon me?”
He chuckled. “Yes, I know it’s hard to believe, but doctors misdiagnose patients occasionally. I prefer to err on the side of being safe. I suspect that you had only been exhibiting concussion-like symptoms due to stress. I just read a study connecting the two. Fascinating stuff. Anyway, that’s why I asked how your sleep had been. You’d be surprised at what stress can do to the body. It can tear it apart. It’s like poison. Have you ever tried meditating?”
I smiled, thinking of that breathing technique from Lucas. “One time, for about fifteen seconds.”
