Page 48 of Spoil
A large, warm hand rubs up and down my back soothingly.
“You made a room for her?” I whisper as Daniel comes to stand behind me.
“I’m a dad. It seems like things like booster seats and movies and a bedroom are kind of standard-issue things, right?”
I watch as Danny climbs off the bed and organizes the stuffed animals while I breathe through and try to simply absorb the moment.
“Cara said you like greens and yellows, but I know favorite colors change all the time, so you can let me know if you want to decorate it another way, okay Danny?” he asks her, and the smile she gives him is adoring. This man is just as much a part of our daughter’s heart as he is mine.
“Want to let her explore while I give you your present?”
Another round of nerves simmers through my chest like angry wasps. It’s too much. It’s all already too much. But the idea of disappointing him by telling him that would wreck me. He’s done nothing but be thoughtful and kind, and I’ve been fighting him - fighting this - the entire time.
But I also don’t trust my voice not to break, so I simply nodded.
With his hand on the small of my back, he leads me down the short hallway and to a pair of French doors. He opens the door and ushers me inside, leaving it open so I can listen for Danny. It’s a bedroom, elegantly decorated with greys and creams. Not my choice for bedding, but it screams Daniel.
“A bedroom? Is this one for me?” I ask, trying to tease him, but this time my voice does crack.
He chuckles softly at me. “Kind of.” He motions to a large antique vase full of the most beautiful floral arrangement on top of an antique dresser.
“Flowers?”
“Warmer,” he teases back.
Frustration and fear surge through me. “Daniel,” I scold.
He gives in and pulls open a set of drawers.
"I cleared space in here and in the closet for you," he says, walking over to his walk-in closet and turning on the light. My pulse picks up. This is too much, too fast, too far.
He must see the panic in my eyes because he comes over and grips both of my biceps.
“I’m not demanding anything. I’m not saying you have to move in with me. I’m just making room for you - in case you want to spend the night. Both of you.”
I lick my lips and nod my head, repeating to myself:just spend the night.That I could do. One night I could do.
“Next time you come over, bring a set of pajamas you can leave here, or some loungewear. I got extra toothbrushes for the two of you, as well. Danny’s bathroom’s just down the hall.”
Just one night.
I could do just one night.
I breathe in through my nose until my heart rate slows. I nod again.
“Th-thank you,” I squeak out, because the gesture is thoughtful, and he knows me well enough to talk me out of a panic.
It’s logical. If we were divorced, he would have some custody of Danny and would have a bedroom at his house for her. It’s logical. And while the idea of leaving her at Daniel’s by themselves makes me nervous, I know it’s illogical. Daniel would ensure Danny was comfortable and happy and would take care of her just as much as I do.
We walk back to Danny’s room, and I kneel on the floor, watching as she arranges the stuffed animals by species on the bed.
“What do you think? Do you like it?”
The smile she gives me settles all of my worries. If it makes her happy, it makes me happy. Everything else is just noise.
And when I look up at Daniel standing in the doorway, looking at us with nothing but adoration in his eyes, I’m finished.
I knew I liked Daniel before. I knew I adored him before.
