Page 52 of Spoil
I clench my fist. Then I guess we'd better get this over with now.
“Are you alone?” I ask him, my voice laced with ice. I’m not sending Danny in there to watch TV or play in her room if he’s got another woman in there.
“What?” he asks, incredulous.
“Are you alone?” I nearly growl.
“Mommy?” Danny asks, tugging at my hand.
“I need to know if you have another woman in there before I decide if we’re staying or leaving,” I whisper-hiss to Daniel.
He tosses his hands in the air and gives us his back, walking back into the sitting area.
“Why would Daddy live with another woman? He loves you,” Danny tugs my hand again and whispers.
“Yeah, Mommy. Why would I live with another woman when I’m in love with you?” Daniel asks, bitterness and sarcasm lacing his voice.
I walk in, close the door behind us, and kick off our slippers.
“Baby, would you take your backpack and go play in your room for a bit? Daddy and I need to have an adult conversation.” The tone in my voice leaves no room for argument, so Danny does.
My fists clenched, I watch her little body run up the stairs and into her room, shutting the door behind her.
I stare Daniel down, who does the same to me. I try to call my racing heart. I don’t want to believe he’s done with me. I don’t want to believe we went through so many years longing for each other, only to have it end after a handful of months. I don’t want to believe I’ve done something to push away such an amazing man.
But I can’t focus on that. Danny’s what matters.
“If you’re done with us, I need to know.” I’ve summoned every ounce of bravery I have within me and my voice still cracked. My heart still hurts. And tears still threaten to spill over.
“Done with you?!” Daniel shouts, shooting to his feet. His chest heaves, his eyes narrow, and... he’s completely pissed. But I refuse to back down.
“Your text messages. They’ve changed. I can’t have someone hot and cold in Danny’s life. You’re either in it consistently, or not at all.” I lift my chin, and drop my eyes to his shirt because I can’t stand the anger I see in his.
I don’t know what I’ve done to piss him off so much, but I can cry about it later. I also know I legally can’t keep him from his daughter, but I will protect that little girl until my last breath, and if it means threatening the man in front of me, I will.
His shoulders slump, which gives me the curiosity at least to look him in the face again. All at once I watch his anger fade and morph to confusion, understanding, and then defeat.
He slumps back onto the couch and stabs his fingers through his hair.
“I’m fucking all of this up, aren’t I?” he mumbles to himself.
My guard is still up, but the man in front of me doesn’t look like he’s fed up with me, or like he’s moved on. He looks... wrecked.
“What are you fucking up?” I ask cautiously.
The sigh that leaves him feels like it’s too big for his body.
Sweet brown eyes blink up at me, utter devastation on his face.
Finally, a look of determination settles over his brows and he starts. “Something happened a few days ago, and I’ve been dying to tell you, but I have no idea how to.” His gaze drops to his hands, but I wait for him to finish. “Cass said to do it kindly. Harrison said to be blunt and not worry about your feelings, but I don’t think I can do that. And every time I go to write it out in a text, I second-guess fucking everything. I can’t hurt you, Nell. I won’t. But there’s no way to tell you this without it hurting you.”
Dread fills my lungs, but the anxiety eases. He’s cheated on me. And he regrets it now. But he knows there’s no way forward for us but still wants Danny in his life. I knew this was always a possibility, and while my heart folds over on itself painfully, at least now I know.
“It’s okay,” I whisper. I always knew there was a scenario in which we weren’t together. Of course, I’m devastated. But at least he looks as devastated as I feel. I never really believed I deserved him, anyway.
He stands and steps into my space.
“You know?” he asks, almost hopefully.
