Page 104 of Watch Me Burn
“Knew what?” Maren shifts forward, elbows dropping to her knees. “Luna, who is he?”
I meet her eyes, seeing my devastation reflected at me. “It’s Damien, Mar. You were right. I was right. It’s been Damien this whole time.”
The silence stretches between us, suffocating, filling every corner of the room. Sage meows and kneads my thigh under the blanket, sensing my distress.
“Holy fucking shit. That motherfucking manipulative, lying son of a bitch.”
She launches to her feet, pacing the length of the porch, muttering curses that are so inventive, they could only come from Maren Rodriguez.
“I fucking knew it. I knew there was something there!”
She spins to face me, eyes blazing. Shadow’s head jerks upright, Juni hisses, and Sage burrows under the blanket on my lap in response to her furious energy. Willow stretches behind my head, unfazed.
“You have such great instincts, Lu. We both should have listened to them. And the fucking timing. How he showed up in town right when your stalker started watching you—”
“My instincts suck.” Bitterness coats every word, matching the white-hot pain in my chest. “I didn’t listen to them. I mean, how could I ignore those moments when something felt… familiar? How could a mask and his disguising his voice fool me so completely?”
Maren drops back onto the seat with a sigh, her Aries rage burning out as fast as it ignited. “Because you wanted to be fooled. Because there was something freeing about not knowing, wasn’t there?”
The truth of her words shatters my illusions. “With my wolf, I could be uninhibited. Surrender control. Let myself be vulnerable in ways I never allow with anyone else. And with Damien…” I trail off, memories flooding back. “With Damien, I was letting my guard down in a different way. He was patient and attentive. He never pushed for more than I was ready to give.”
“Two sides of the same fucking coin. He gave you exactly what you needed in both personas. That fucking manipulative bastard.”
“You said that already.”
“And I’ll say it again.” She grabs one of the throw pillows and launches it across the room. It hits the window with a soft thud. “That motherfucking manipulative rat bastard.”
“He lied to me.” Pain and fury tangle in my throat, making each word sharp. “For months, Mar. He’s been living this double life, manipulating me, and playing this sick game. Owning my body as my wolf while courting my heart as Damien. He watched me tear myself apart with guilt over ‘betraying’ him, and he enjoyed every second of my suffering. He loved punishing me for it.”
“What do you mean, punishing you?” Her eyes narrow to slits, and her breathing slows. “Luna, I thought you said he didn’t hurt you. Because if you’ve been lying to me about that, if he’s been hurting you and you didn’t tell me, I’m going to kick both your asses.”
Even with the threat directed at me, the fierce protectiveness in her tone makes my chest ache with how much I love her.
“He doesn’t hurt me, Mar. Not physically. But after I spent time with Damien, he was always different. Rougher. He never hid that he knew about Damien because he was always watching me. I just refused to put it together. I thought it was jealousy from my stalker, not him being jealous… of himself.”
“That’s pretty fucked up, even by my standards.”
A bitter laugh bursts out of me. “He played me for a fool. Making me want both sides of him and then punishing me for developing feelings for his daylight persona.”
Juni headbutts my elbow, her purr rumbling like a small motor. My fingers sink into her soft fur, and I focus on the rhythmic motion of petting her instead of the chaos in my head.
“Have you considered that maybe this wasn’t some elaborate, cruel game?” Maren’s voice loses its razor edge. Her jaw unclenches as she pushes past her rage to consider something else. “Maybe he didn’t know how to tell you the truth once things went beyond just crazy monkey sex?”
My jaw drops. “Are you seriously defending him right now? After everything I just told you?”
“Fuck no, I’m not defending him.” She throws her hands up in protest. “What he did is completely fucked up, and he deserves to have his balls cut off and fed to him for it. I’ll be the first in line to do it. But I’m trying to see the whole picture here, Lu. I’ve never seen your masked stalker, but I’ve seen how Damien looks at you. That man is completely gone for you.”
“He let me grieve alone. He knew I lost our baby, and he just watched me suffer.”
“Did he, though?” Maren leans forward. Her gaze pins me in place. “Because what I’ve seen is him bringing you lunch every damn day for the last couple weeks, checking on you, making sure you’re eating and taking care of yourself, even though you didn’t ‘technically’ tell Damien about the miscarriage. I can’t even imagine how many miles he’s put on that helicopter bringing takeout fromDenver. Wait, do helicopters use miles or… never mind. Point is, he’s been showing up for you this whole time. Just not as the version of himself you expected.”
I go still. The righteous solid ground under my feet just turned to quicksand.
Thanks for that, Maren.
“I don’t know what to do.” My voice cracks. “I’m so angry with him, Mar. What he did… the lies, the deception. He betrayed me, but I’m—”
“Still in love with him.”
