Page 114 of Watch Me Burn
Her voice carries that sharp edge she uses when she’s trying not to break.
“I know.” I kiss her again before she can stop me, before I can stop myself, pouring everything I can’t say into it. She fights me. Her hands shove at my shoulders, body twisting, but I only kiss her deeper, swallowing her protests. When I pull away, we’re both gasping. Her pulse hammers against my palms where I’m still holding her wrists. “But I need you to—”
“Stop.” She shoves at my chest, hard enough that I stumble back a step, releasing her hands. “Just stop talking.”
I reach for her again, but she pushes me away, harder this time. The rejection catches me off guard, not expecting the force behind it. When she’s angry, she’s stronger than she looks.
“Don’t touch me.” Her voice cracks, and she wraps her arms around herself, backing toward the fireplace like she needs something solid behind her. “You lied to me. For months, you lied to me.”
“Yes.” The word comes out strangled, forced past the tightness in my chest. “But the way I feel about you was never a lie. It’s the only real thing in my fucked-up life.”
“How am I supposed to believe anything you say? How do I know what’s real and what’s just another mask you’re wearing?”
The accusation hits its mark, and I flinch. I’ve been wearing masks for so long, I barely know who I am anymore. Except when I’m with her. She’s the only person who’s ever been able to get past them all.
“You want to know what’s real?”
I take a step toward her, but Shadow moves in front of her. He won’t let me near her right now. I don’t blame him. He knows the time has come to protect her from me.
“This is real. The way I can’t breathe when you walk into a room. The way I’d carve out my own heart and hand it to you. The way I’d slaughter anyone,anyone,who tried to take you from me.”
“Stop.” She shakes her head, turning away from me. Tears carve paths down her flushed cheeks, her reflection fractured in the mirror above the fireplace. “You don’t get to say things like that. Not after what you’ve done.”
“I love you!” The words rip from my chest like they’re taking pieces of me with them.
She flinches as if I’ve struck her. Her reflection crumples, and she turns away from the fireplace to look at me again.
“I love you, Luna. That’s the only truth I know.”
“Don’t.” Her voice is a whisper. “Don’t say that now. Not now.”
But I can’t stop. Now that the words are out, they pour from me like a dam bursting. “I love the way you care for your animals, for everyone around you. I love the way you defy me. Right from the beginning, even when you were terrified of me, you never cowered. I love the sound of your laugh and the way you smile when you see me, both of me. I love the way you feel, the way you smell, the way you taste. I love that you see the good in everyone, even in a monster like me. I love—”
“Stop!” She presses her hands to her ears. “I can’t hear this right now. I can’t—” Her voice breaks completely, and she doubles over like she’s in physical pain.
I move toward her, needing to comfort her, to do something other than stand here watching her fall apart. Shadow’s lips pull back from his teeth in a warning snarl. I freeze mid-step, my arms hanging at my sides.
The distance between us feels impossible to cross.
“You hurt me.” The words are so quiet I almost miss them. She’s still bent over, her hair falling like a curtain around her face. “You made me fall in love with a lie.”
The accusation hits me harder than any physical blow ever could. I did hurt her. I took her trust, her love, and her body, all under false pretenses. I’m exactly the monster she thinks I am.
“Luna, please—”
“Get out.” She straightens, wiping her tears with her fingers. When she looks at me, her eyes are hollow, empty of everything that used to make them shine. “Please just go. I’m begging you.”
Panic lodges under my ribs. “Luna—”
“Please.” The word breaks on another sob. “I can’t look at you right now. I can’t—I need you to leave.”
Every instinct I have screams at me to fight, to refuse, to battle for her until she forgives me. This woman is everything to me—the light in my darkness, the peace in my chaos. Without her, I’m nothing but the monster I was before she came into my life.
But the tears streaming down her face stop me. I’ve hurt her enough. I’ve taken enough from her without permission.
“This isn’t over. I’ll give you space, Luna, but I won’t give up on you. On us. I won’t let you go.”
Her shoulders shake with silent sobs, but she doesn’t respond. My hand hovers over the mask on the table, the wolf that set all of this in motion, before I draw back. She deserves to toss it into her fireplace and watch it melt.
