Page 14 of Significant
Love
Elle: 8 years old
Little birdie.
Daddy calls me that, and today I want to make him proud. Birds can fly in the sky, so I climb the old tree of our garden to sit on the branch. A step closer to the sky. I stare at the dirt on my dress and on my hands, my fingers colored by the pastels. Mommy is gonna be mad, she spends her time cleaning and cooking, she’s never smiling.
A robin is singing. I recognize him from the pretty orange color of his pelage. I believe he’s cheering me up, or welcoming the spring. My arm up, I incline my palm toward the sky for him to lay on it. I feel lonely—boys are stupid, and girls don’t like me. Mommy told me it’s because I’m pretty. I think it’s because I’m weird. I’m always drawing, putting colors everywhere.
The bird flies away on the higher branch.Crap.I dare to look at the ground. Oh no, it’s too high.
“Daddy,” I cry out, fear paralyzing me. How am I gonna get down? I’m higher than Daddy’s height, and he’s a giant.
Dad is on the phone, discussing adult things that make him most of the time angry. I continue on calling him until he turns around and his brown eyes meet mine. “Daddy, I’m stuck. Please, help me.”
He sighs, “I’ll see you tonight, Selene.”Selene?I’ve seen a beautiful blond lady once in Daddy’s car with this name. Dad hangs up and walks in my direction before looking up. “What are you doing up there? Where is your mother?”
“Mom is at the supermarket.”You were supposed to take me to the park today, but you didn’t. “I wanted to be friends with the bird.” My legs start to shake as I lean toward the huge branch, gripping it tighter when the wind begins to rise.
“For fuck’s sake, Elle!” I don’t like it when Daddy raises his voice, just like when I dislike when he’s wearing his expensive business clothes. “Just jump, I’ll catch you. I don’t have time for this.”
I nod my head sideways. “No, it’s too high. Please, take me!”
“I’m not gonna climb out there, jump, Elle.” Oh, no, I’ve annoyed, Daddy.
“Promise, you’ll catch me?”I’ll never climb again. I promise.
“Yes. Come on, hurry up!”
Both of my hands still on the branch, I pull my legs in the void, ignoring my fear. “Daddy, are you here?” If my hands stop clutching the tree branch, I’d fall. Would I die?
“Yes, Elle.”
“Okay. I’m letting go.” I close my eyes. It’s fine.
Daddy will catch me.
Daddy is behind me.
Daddy loves me, he’ll never let something happen to me.
“Shit,” Daddy sighs while I let go of the tree branch.
The bird peering at me, I scream, watching the sky as I fall the same way I do like in one of my nightmares.
Humans don’t fly.
Humansfall.
I hit the wet grass, falling on my side. It hurts, and my knee tingles of burning heat. I move my leg. Blood. But I don’t cry yet, not until I see Daddy on the phone, ignoring me.
He didn’t catch me.
He lied.Again.
Then, I cry, my heart hurting so much. When he finally notices me on the ground, he hangs up for the second time paying attention to me.I trusted you, Dad…
“Stop crying, Elle.”Why?“You’re not injured, this will serve you as a lesson.”
