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“Are you ok? I’m sorry, it’s my fault, Elle.” He shakes his head, unhinged by what happened.
“I’m fine, Aaron. It’s just a superficial scratch, I didn’t break anything.” I manage a smile, but his expression remains darkly stoic.
“You have blood on your shoulder. You are not okay,” he drops, cold and dry. “This is my fault. I’m making only bad decisions… I shouldn’t have brought you here.”
“It’s not your—”
“You are hurt because of me, damn it! And it could have been a lot worse!” I’ve never seen him so angry, devastated. His eyes redden with anger, his eyebrows pinching together. This is not the same Aaron I know.
I reach for his hand, but he pushes it away, distancing himself from me with a mask of fear on his face. “No, I did this. This is my damn fault!” He stands up and puts his hands on his forehead while screaming curses.
“Aaron—” My voice is low and panicked.
“Don’t speak! Don’t say a freaking word!” His eyes bore into mine with hatred, like I’m a mistake. Someone he wants to get rid of. A ghost who’s haunting him.
“Don’t—”Don’t yell. Don’t talk to me this way. It makes me feel worthless again.
“I told you to not. Say. A. Freaking. Word.” His tone is menacing and authoritative, he’s becoming what everyone told Wolf was.
Tormented.
Angry.
Haunted.
Aaron vanished to become only fury.
“Stop!” I yell, feeling the demons of my past reaching me. He isn’t the only one who is broken.
It feels like we’re both falling to the underworld. He’s the tormented sinner who’s staring at me as if I’m one of the Furies punishing and cursing him. A tear slides down my face. He is scaring me. Not because he exposed a new part of him. The part he has been hiding for so long. The damaged part. The one of someone lost between a memory and the present, stuck in his own fear. But because he is pushing me away like a nobody, leaving me on the ground like he couldn’t care less. I’m not his enemy, but I can’t help him, I can’t force him to open up to me.
“Don’t cry, please.” His voice softens, his vulnerability sparkling through his eyes. “Fuck, I’m such an asshole. What am I doing?” he mutters to himself.
He sits in front of me, reaching for my hand. “You are scaring me, Aaron,” I reply. But when he drifts his gaze away from me, I know my words hurt him. I intertwine my fingers with his. “You are scaring me, because I can’t figure out why you are destroying yourself. I don’t know what happened to you.”
He helps me stand up, our bodies folding together. He encircles his strong arms around my waist. “You’re the one who scared the shit out of me when you fell. Seeing you like that…” He stops for a moment, lost in his demons. “You should hate me, and yet here you are, trying to understand why I was an ass with you.”
“I told you, I’m fine. I’m not made of porcelain.”
“Let me be the judge of that. I need to take care of you.”
He starts to lead us toward the exit, when I stop facing him. “First, let me understand you.”
“You don’t want to go there.”But maybe I want to know your darkness.The tips of his fingers brush my chin and erase the mark of my tear, our gaze lost in each other. “I’m destroying myself like you said, so no one else can. It’s probably the worst kind of control but it’s the only one I know.” He takes a deep breath, his expression cryptic. “That’s why I have nothing to give. Not to you—not to anyone.”
My heart shatters hearing his bitter words. Words I can relate to. Only someone who knew only pain could speak this way. Love is probably an unknown emotion for Aaron, and I’m heading down a dangerous path. Connecting with the man whose darkness is speaking to mine.
He dips down and swoops me into his arms, bridal style. I wrap my arms around his neck, facing his duality. He has the stature of a Greek god and the regard of a troubled man. Alpha and vulnerable. He is the man who makes me feel significant for a second in his arms, while I know he’ll never let anyone matter to him. Close and yet unreachable. Wolf could be similar to the angel of the paintingEverlasting, someone who has the capacity to rescue you while fighting demons of his own.
“You are better than you think, Aaron.”
He remains focused while carrying me. “I’m not. And if you are smart, you will stay away from me.”
“Stay away? Is that what you want?”
“No. But you know I’ll ruin you. I’ll use you for my personal needs.” He is distancing himself emotionally, not daring to meet my gaze. “It’s what I do. I’m selfish, Elle. And I always have what I want.”
Crashing makes me realize life is too short to be wasted on fear.
