Page 63 of Significant
His gaze stops at the painting he bought on the wall, his lips curving into a ghost of a smile.
“I’ve never said thank you for the painting. It was very generous of you. Too much, even. You can have it back if you want?”
He doesn’t answer.
For reasons I don’t want to tell him, I’ve cried for a week because of his gesture, thinking about how happy he made me. But I remain stoic, just like him. Aaron hasn’t shown me any emotions since he arrived. He reduced his eye contact with me to the minimum. And yet, he is standing a few inches from me. I feel our chemistry, but he does nothing.
“Your shirt is wet. You’re gonna catch a cold, you need to stay warm.” His eyes travel in direction of the bathroom and I’m… mad.
How can he stay so casual in front of me? Acting as though nothing has happened? I want to explode and tell him Ilovehim as much as I hate him. I don’t want his normal tone and false civility. I take off his jacket and throw it on the ground.Not my best move.I’m freezing to death with my excuses of clothing, trying to make a point. We have never been average or medium. We are extreme. My eyes dare him, challenging him to be the Aaron I know.
“Ma belle, please.” His voice is like a whisper, but I’m hell-bent.
I don’t move.
He swallows before carrying me, the same way he did the night before my world fell apart to my heated bedroom. He puts me down gently, before we face each other, without a word. His hands slide gently on my thighs to grab the end of my top. His eyes meet mine, asking for…permission? Forgiveness? I can’t picture what it is. I want to see the real Aaron. The man who stares at me with an intense craving, the man who is straightforward with me. I don’t want this polite Aaron. I want all of him.
I put my hands in the air, waiting for his action. I want to know why he broke me. Eyes don’t lie. His fingers pull my top up to my belly, revealing my pastel blue panties, until he has pulled it off completely over of my head. Until I stand almost naked in front of him. Until I know ifweare real.
His eyes drag over my body, and I can remember every touch of his, his scent, his mark he left on me. Memories. He stops his gaze at my breasts, my nipples pointing at him, and I’m remembering the way he used to suck them. His pupils darken. His eyes shift to my belly, to the places he used to caress me, to my hips that he grabbed passionately during our ardent exchanges. His gaze now stuck on my mouth which he claimed and used abundantly, and I know.
He craves me.
I’ve marked him.
But his memory of us is tainted by deep pain. His nightmare. He left me out of fear. Fear of hurting me. His fingers caress my belly, climbing higher to the edge of my breasts, our eyes stuck on each other. He approaches me, our lips begging to connect, my need of him growing, and just when I think he’s gonna kiss me—and that I’ll let him—he puts the blanket of my bed on my shoulders and wraps me in it. He takes a step backward, before leaving my bedroom. I’m left confused.What happened?
I change quickly putting on my ugly comfy sweats, before storming in the living room. I was at his disposal and he didn’t kiss me? Aaron never backs away from a challenge. From a prey who submits herself willingly. My anger vanishes when I see him sitting on the floor fixing my broken radiator.
I should yell at him. Kiss him. Slap him. Anything. But what do I do? I watch him fixing it, as he hides the shame and regret piercing through his eyes. Silence flies over us. Minutes passed, and finally he stands up, turning the heat of the radiator.
He fixed it. But could he fix us?
He cleans up the area, while I take a seat on my couch confused by this whole situation. “Thank you.”
Once he is done, he sits on the chair in front of me. He’s maintaining a distance between us. When the conflict in his eyes strikes me, my heart bounces in my chest, my emotions colliding into me. “I’m sorry, Elle. I’ve pushed you away, I was afraid. I would never hurt you. I wanted to protect you from me.”
“I know.” And I understand, I’d have done the same thing for him.But I can’t forget his words.
“I tried to stay away from you, but fuck, Elle, you haunt my mind. I’d like if you could give me a second chance.” He furrows his brow like he wants to say more, but something is stopping him. “I’m not ready to share my past yet, but I… I want to try.” His eyes are now stuck on mine, reading into me, unveiling himself without filters.
Trying.Trying to heal. Trying to love.
“You can’t push me away again. You humiliated me, what you said to me… I won’t be able to handle that a second time. Never again,” I say firmly, my eyes wet, expressing the pain he caused me.
“I won’t.”
My tears slide down as I turn my head away, because if I don’t, I’ll cry and crawl back to him so easily—too easily. We stay silent. I don’t understand why we always need to play the game of cat and mouse. Chasing each other. Escaping each other. Saving the other or tearing ourselves. Probably because our pasts have been stronger than us. Our need for power, our need to not be weak, our need to own. But he is the only one knowing me.
He hands me the envelope he took from his jacket. “I know I can’t offer you what a nice and sweet guy could offer you. I’m screwed up with a deadly job. You’ve seen a part of me, I’m—” He stops, and I know he isn’t ready to talk.
Soul mates. I’m convinced Aaron is mine. Probabilities will be against us, and yet here we are defying all the odds once again. Out of billions of people. A continent away. Out of the improbable factors we met.
“I need you. I want to try with you.” He sets the envelope on the table in front of me. “This is a ticket to Paris and a hotel reservation. I’d like you to come as my date to the FIA Prize ceremony award. I’ll be waiting at your hotel until eight, after I’ll leave. It’s your choice, Elle.” He leans toward me and kisses my forehead softly. “Whatever you choose, thank you for seeing in me what nobody ever saw.”
I’m in shock. A rush of feelings is invading me and I’m unable to speak. My answer is yes.I can’t live without you,but I can’t say it to him. I was miserable without him, but my ego is getting in my way. He walks closer to the door. I don’t have time.Think, Elle. Speak. Fight. Do something.I turn my face in his direction.
When I do, it’s too late. He is gone.
