Page 67 of Significant
Every person I care about used me.Why would she be different?
Only one way to find out.
As soon as the ceremony ends, I rush to find her. People are congratulating me, waving at me, asking me about next season. I don’t listen. I manage a few smiles, but I just want to be out. I clutch Elle’s arm from behind, recognizing her beautiful raven dress that fits her curves perfectly, her scent of rose. She’s heaven-sent. A beauty.
“We need to talk, Elle.” She gives me a head nod and trots behind me to keep up with my fast pace.
We walk toward the darkness, the only light being the ones of the bridge of Alexandre III, the statues of angels, Pegasus and the gods, the only witnesses of our presence. I broke my first two promises I’ve made to my younger self, and tonight I want to know if she would break my promise number three.No one could ever love me.
“Why are you with me, Elle? Tell me the truth.” My eyes dare her, a threat in my low voice.
“Aaron, what’s wrong?” She shakes her head, her eyes wild. She’s hiding something.
“Were you planning on writing an article about my brother’s death?” I scream at her as she takes a step back. I don’t want to scare her, but she’s unleashing my demons. “Were you planning on writing some private information I told you confidentially? I fucking trusted you, Elle,” I roar as she breathes faster feeling the flames of betrayal I have inside my heart.
I peer over the bridge, my hands grabbing the border as I try to remain in control.Fuck, Aaron, you’re terrorizing your woman. Calm down.But I can’t control myself, she exercises such a powerful thing on me. I can only be intense. I could hurt her so easily.I could be like him.I curse as I see the face of a little girl, afraid, and not of the feisty woman I know. She looks so freaking innocent, and yet she stares at me like she’s guilty and afraid.
“It’s not what you think,” she whispers—not denying. Too late. She’s a weakness.
“I bet it doesn’t please you that I confessed what happened to Henry on stage earlier. You’ll not get to write the exclusivity anymore. My secret is out,” I snort, and what’s left of me is just bitterness. She usually awakens the best in me, the remaining light in my corrupted soul, but tonight, she awakens the worst in me. Each of my darkest emotions. My fears and needs are multiplied. I can’t find peace. And yet, all I want is my lips on hers, my cock inside her, I want her to be mine. But it feels like an ocean is standing between us.
“Tell me you would have never used me for another article? Without even speaking about it with me, first.” I drift my dark gaze to her, only anger inside me. The real me. “Was it all a lie? Tell me it’s not true!”
She feels it and rushes toward me, taking my hand into hers, her eyes imploring for forgiveness. “I wanted to talk to you tonight about it. My boss forced me, I fought and refused, but you can’t refuse Nina for long,” her sweet voice murmurs, but it’s not enough. We always used each other from the start, how can we trust the other?
I scan her, searching for the truth, as her eyes shift to the ground under my forceful staring. “I haven’t written anything, but I’ll lose everything if I don’t. She threatened me saying, she’d destroy me.” She bites her lower lip, frowning her eyebrows as if she’s trying to contain her crying. “I haven’t told you this, but my boss… she’s my mother.”
I look up to the sky. Elle never mentioned her mother to me. Just once, and it was a story she didn’t want to discuss further. Fuck. We’re so screwed up. I feel like the statues of the gods are laughing at us. “If you had been honest with me, I’d have fought for you. I wouldn’t have let you lose your job.” I’m trying to remain placid, because if I let my emotions out, I’ll explode.
“You can trust me,” she pleads, reaching to put her hands on my chest.
I take a step back. “People used me, Elle. All of them.”Even you.
“Really? That’s what you think? I tried to call you, Aaron! You never answered me for days! I called you, but you pushed me away, again! When was I supposed to talk about the article?” she explodes, unleashing her hellions, howling like she’s in pain. “I had other things on my mind, Aaron! I was freaking broken.” She slumps to the ground, like a child hiding from a nightmare, head on her knees. It takes me all the willing in the world to not take her into my arms. “And when you showed up at my door, I was afraid. Afraid that you’d leave me… again. I don’t want to be weak.”
“You see, you don’t trust me either.” I know my passionless tone hits her deep, and a part of me wanted to. I don’t want her to know how weak she makes me. I don’t want her to possess me.
I help her stand, my fingers tangling with hers, our souls merging as I caress her cheek.Mine.Her eyes are wet, her cheeks red from anger, her sweet lips begging to be kissed. “I need the ultimate proof, Elle,” I whisper. She looks stern, confused, but sheknowswhat I’m talking about. I need what she couldn’t give to any other men. I need her soul. I need her to be mine. “There is only one proof. The one to show me that I’m special to you, to show me it was more than pretending.”
I need her to belong to me fully.
I need her to say the words I for so long, feared.
She stares at me, emotionless. I’m losing her, and my eight-year-old self is coming back to the surface. Her mouth is open, she doesn’t know what to say. By lack of words, she captures my face in her palms, crashing her lips into mine. It’s as if she’s losing herself in me, trying to give me her whole soul. But it’s not enough. We cannot hide anymore. I don’t want to be her escape. I want to be more. I pull away, my hands meshing with hers, acting like a wall against our bodies.
“Say it, Elle.”
Show me, my father was wrong. Show me you could love me. Show me this was the truth.
Don’t destroy me now.
“Say it, Elle,” I plead, and I see her trembling as she takes a step back, shaking her head.
She doesn’t love me.
She breaks the last of humanity within me.
Eros & Psyché
