Page 48 of Significant
A couple minutes later, Joshua finishes his excess of cookies, and we exit the coffee bar. We talk a bit more in front of it, before ambling on the neighboring street. “Love is a beautiful thing, you know? Since I’ve met Fabiano, I feel more alive than ever.”
“I don’t believe in love, neither does Aaron.” A part of me does, despite everything. But love is a willing submission that can only bring pain. It’s a weakness. No, Ican’tbelieve in love.
“You know what you need?” He opens his arms, giving me a warm smile. “A hug. Come here.”
Joshua pours me into a sweet hug, as we stand awkwardly in that position in the middle of the street. “I still believe you should talk to him, you may be surprised.” Not today. By showing Aaron my artwork, I almost let go that I cared for him more than I should. Today, I won’t speak more to him.
Joshua brushes a strand of my hair, before staring at my cheek. “Did you know you have paint on your cheek?”
I push him away playfully, both of us laughing. “Thank you for telling me this only now! You’re a great friend.”
He throws his arm around my shoulder. “You’re welcome. You need to show me what you do.”
“No. Nobody can see it.”
Nobody except Aaron.
The next day, my smile vanishes at the view of the newest gossip article.
Damn it.
Apparently, Joshua and I are involved romantically. The picture portrays us hugging, and from the angle the picture has been taken, it looks like we are kissing. This is bad. I immediately call Aaron’s number in case he has seen the article. I feel anxious. Knowing his possessiveness, I fear he’d be enraged right now.
My heart jumps when he answers after the first ring. “Hi, Aaron. Have you seen the—”
“Look, Elle. I’m busy right now. I don’t care who you fuck, but please have the decency to at least be discrete. It’s embarrassing.” I conclude he has seen the article.
“Nothing happ—”
“You fuck who you want, and I fuck who I want. Don’t worry, Elle. I have to go.” He hangs up without waiting to hear my explanation.
Well, now, I guess I know what we are.Nothing.
What just happened? I stare at my phone, my mouth hanging open. Jealousy hits me at full speed. Fuck who I want? A fresh swell of rage rise in me. He didn’t hear me out and jumped to conclusions. I know he has trust issues, and so do I, but in just a flash, he erases me from his memory. One mistake. One mistake, and Aaron kicks me out of his life without thinking twice. Without remorse. Without caring. He assumes the worst in me, taking the easy road. I won’t run after him. He hurt me more than I thought he would.
You have your pride, Aaron, but so do I.
I’m zipping up my tight black dress in the mirror. Red lipstick. Red heels. Hair free. Tonight, I’m turning twenty-four, and I won’t let Aaron haunt my mind. I throw my phone on the bed, ignoring what I’ve been reading all week. Aaron’s latest conquest.Aaron LeBeau has been seen with beautiful Heiress Francesca Vermont looking close. Is LeBeau already back on the market?as a headline. He is back in his element, and I’m just yesterday’s news.
My phone vibrates, Monica is calling me. I pick up and put her on speaker mode, while finishing to get ready for tonight. “Happy Birthday, Elle! I’m sorry, I couldn’t be there.”
I ignore the need to ask about Aaron. “Thank you, Monica. And don’t worry about it. I didn’t expect you to travel from Monaco just for the night.”
“I was calling for another motive, I admit.” I swallow, waiting for her to speak. “The both of you are so screwed up, you know that, right?” I believe she’s referring to Aaron and me.
I try to control my anger, explaining what happened between us, but by the expressive gestures of my hands, I’m not making such a great job out of it. “Why should I tell him the truth? He clearly moved on. If he cared for me, he’d have heard me out.”
“Yeah, I understand your point but…” She takes a deep breath. “Look, he started to open up to you, and then he sees that picture. It’s hard to trust someone for him. I mean, you know Aaron, how did you expect him to react?”
“Not like that. I expected him to be angry or anything, not this cold guy who doesn’t care.”
“You should know by now that Aaron has two sides of himself.”
Silence.
She’s right. Wolf’s duality. To the world, he’s the heartless racer, a cold man who doesn’t care about anyone. And then there is the Aaron I know. The passionate and damaged one. A loner who wears his mask to distance himself from the others. I sit on my bed, hugging my pillow to my chest.He pushed me away. Truth is, I can’t blame Aaron for not wanting to hear the truth. If I were in his situation, I would have acted the same way. That’s what happens when you’ve been broken, you can’t separate the lies from the truth, your past from the present.
But I don’t want to run after a man. I don’t want to be rejected. If I swallow my pride, he could own me. Relationships are a game for power. There is always someone who cares more than the other. There is always a winner, a dominant, and a loser, a submissive. Aaron might be a dominant, but I’ll never be in the loser camp. We can equally heal each other or destroy each other. And right now, we are damaging ourselves, slamming our insecurities in our faces. I’m a mess. He revived me, yes. But he also revived the darkness in me. Jealousy. Hatred. Revenge.
