Page 57 of Scent Of Obsession
Pleasure.
Black.
Sins.
Heat.
Bliss.
Heaven.
Animal.
But the only narrative I had followed was: weakness, pain, heartbreak, fear, sorrow, hopelessness, and Radcliff.
In batch 57, my emotions reminded me that I was lonely, unloved, uncared for. I’d never mattered to anyone. The only way I could ever be was through my gift, but it had left me too.
Radcliff.
In batch 89, I had pushed myself to exhaustion. I came to the conclusion I had devoted my entire life to nothing. A numbness invaded my core.
Radcliff.
In batch 101, only the images of the way Radcliff had broken me remained in my head. The more I pushed him from my spirit, the more he consumed me.
I slumped into my chair, closing my eyes to hold in my tears. I couldn’t fight back the pain coming in a wave, racking my body with chaos. My bottom lip quivered, and a tear fell on my cheek.
You’re all alone, Lily. Always have been.
Radcliff not only spoke to my soul, he did to my demons too. He was the first person who saw through me, the first who made me feel like I belonged somewhere. I thought he could be the dark essence to my floral one, but he just crushed me and pushed me lower than the ground.
Tears spilled over the sides of my eyes like a waterfall. I’d failed my mother. I didn’t have her talent.
The lily of the valley was a symbol of purity, sweetness, and chastity, but she forgot that it was also poisonous. Toxic. It was meant to be admired but never touched. A boring flower.
They wanted the ideal, but I was the spleen too.
All my destructive feelings came back. My fists on the table, I rose up, glaring with disgust at my vials. I squinted at the camera hidden behind the top of the shelf.I know you are watching me.A desire for revenge seized me as in a nightmare where you no longer control your body and your impulses.
In one brutal move, I swept all the materials from the table. They smashed on the floor in a requiem with high-pitched noises. The cracks spread, and the liquid, like blood, drowned the room.
The laboratory became a crime scene filled by black magic and destructive spells. Rage flowed through me in a corrosive liquid. I was hysterical. My heart pounded, and I picked up all of my research papers. I tossed them in the trash, wailing all my guts. I smashed and destroyed everything around me until the memories of my failure crumbled into dust.
Radcliff wanted me to be Dr. Frankenstein, but I was the monster.
Screw him, the aphrodisiac, the perfume, everything.
I escaped the lab like a fury, fully deciding to tell the fucking Devil that I quit, and would disappoint my uncle. After all, he didn’t call me or anything. I was done running after everyone. I barged across the gardens with a destructive determination. I was in a mood for chaos.
My feet struck the ground in heavy clomps. Each step I took was as if I was destroying nature. I made each flower wither, uprooting the most innocent. I was in an eternal war with nothing to appease my molten anger.
On my way to devastation, I hadn’t seen what was in front of me and hit Radcliff, who seemed to have arrived from nowhere. He was as strong as a spooky oak tree, rooting to the ground with all his power. I stumbled backward and lifted my head, the flaming wrath inside my eyes connecting with his shadowy stone ones.
Inwardly, I was seething.Tell him off. Scream at him. Slap him.I craved to hurt him, but I remained powerless.
“I know what you did to my lab,” he articulated coldly.
“I’m not sorry.” I wasn’t. I felt a flash of irritation, and a fresh swell of bitterness rose in me. In a matter of seconds, I spoke back. “Actually, I wanted to run into you to tell you how much of an arseho—”
