Page 41 of Arranged Addiction
I pull myself from my stupor. I feel like a hibernating bear shaking off the lost frost of winter. “You asked Sheila what I like?”
“No other way of knowing. I couldn’t just ask you.”
“And you did it?”
He frowns at me. “Was this a mistake?”
“No, no, this is nice. I mean, it’s really nice…” I trail off and pick up the tea mug. It’s gray, but at least it’s warm. I take a sip, and it revives something in me, at least a little bit. “Thank you, Declan.”
He nods, jaw tense. “Sir.”
I smile a little. “Sorry. I mean, thank you, sir.”
“That’s better.” He lingers for a moment. I think he’s about to walk away, but instead, he sinks down onto the couch right beside me. Our legs are touching. It’s such a surprise, but I don’t mind it.
I actually could use the comfort right about now.
“You don’t have to do this.” I speak very quietly and stare down at my tea. The steam rises slowly in wisps and curls.
“Lie back. Sheila told me one other thing you like.”
I stare at him in a panic. “What did she say?!”
“It’s not gross. Just lie back.”
I do as instructed, propping myself up slightly with a lumpy pillow, the tea in my hands. He takes my feet, puts them into his lap?—
And begins to rub them.
I don’t even know how to react.
“Are you giving me a foot massage right now?”
“Tell me if you want me to stop.”
“No, please don’t. It feels good.” And it really does. The man’s got exquisite hands. He kneads and rubs without ever tickling. It’s honestly impressive. “Sheila used to do this sometimes when I had a bad day.”
“Do you want this to be something you only ever do with her?”
“That’s not what I mean. I’m just saying, it’s nice. I really needed…” I trail off, choking back tears. He’s so serious and intense. He doesn’t need me crying again. I’m pretty sure I’ll just scare him off.
“It’s okay, baby.” His voice is very soft. “You can cry if you want to.”
“You’re not going to run away? You normally treat me like I’m radioactive the second the tears start.”
“Not tonight. You just buried your friend. People need to grieve.”
“I’ve been doing that a lot lately.”
He continues to rub my feet. “Sometimes I struggle with how to process big emotions in other people. It isn’t that I don’t care. It’s more that I was never equipped for it.”
“I’m guessing you had a tough childhood?”
“In some ways. I was taught from a very young age how to behave. I have to be strong all the time. The boss of the Whelan Clan can’t be soft.”
“That’s not a word I’d ever use to describe you.”
“Emotions are soft. I learned how to turn them off. But you can be as soft as you want, Casey. You’re my wife.”
