Page 96 of Bullet
“I do. Not just here, though. As we go through the day, I feel like she is always with us.”
Harlee snorts. “Mom, I’m sorry about what you saw this morning. Please don’t smite me.”
I chuckle. “I’m sure even her spirit knows when to step into the next dimension and give us some space.”
“I sure hope so because she doesn’t need to know about some things. I like the thought that she is always with me, though. Does it feel awkward to talk to her?”
I shake my head. “Not for me. It’s like she is my own personal counselor.”
Harlee smacks my arm. “You mean I could be talking to my mom instead of some therapist?”
“You like your therapist and you can’t talk to your mom when she is what you needed to talk about,” I remind her.
“I know. I do like therapy. I feel like it has helped me so much. Still, I think I want to try talking to my mom too.”
“Do you want me to go wait at the bike? Give you some privacy?” I ask her.
“No. You can hear this.” She clears her throat. “I remember when I was sixteen. This new biker boy came to the club. He was so handsome and I fell in love with him the moment I laid my eyes on him, but he wouldn’t pay me any mind. So I was a brat. I would antagonize him anytime I could because I wanted him to look at me. He never did. Do you remember what you told me, Mom? You told me that a man like him shouldn’t look at a girl ofonly sixteen the way I wanted him to look at me. You promised me that if I was patient and focused on myself then one day he would notice me if it was meant to be.”
She starts to sniffle, so I pull her closer to me.
“I didn’t think you would go through the trouble of dying so you could bring us closer together, but I guess maybe I should have. You have always had your own way of making our lives better. I thought your death would kill me too, but it didn’t. It made me stronger. I know I wasn’t something to be proud of for a while there, but I hope when you look down at me now that you are proud of the woman I have become. I hope you bless this relationship with Jacob because he is every bit of the good man you told me he was. He treats me right and puts me first the way you promised me that the love of my life would. I know Daddy is going to give us issues, but I hope you come down and touch his heart, reminding him that you both raised an amazing daughter who makes the right choices, even if I faltered off the path for a bit. I love you, Mom. I’m sorry I haven’t come sooner. I promise I will come every Sunday with Jacob. We will make sure you always have your favorite flowers, and on holidays I will bring your favorite wine to pour one out with you. I won’t let a day go by that I don’t tell you how grateful that I am that you were my mom. I miss you so damn much, but I know you are with me. With us.”
I let her words sit for a moment before I speak my own. “Eleanor. It’s me again. I’m sure you are tired of hearing my voice by now, but I can’t help but seek you out when you have been a guiding light in my life. Honk is coming home soon, and I know he won’t like that I am with your daughter. I can’t help it, though. I love her with my entire being. I would give her my last breath if that’s what she needed to survive. I hope you would have approved of this union, but I have a feeling, by Harlee’s admission, that you planned this from the start. You werealways a sneaky one. Offering comfort while also bestowing your wisdom upon us all. You are truly missed, but not forgotten. We will never forget you. Not with the mark you have left behind. Not only in me or your daughter, but everyone at the club. They all still speak about you with light and laughter. You are still bringing joy to those you loved. I hope you can be with Honk as he learns how to deal with life without you. I know it has to be hard for him because even the thought of not having Harlee in my life makes me want to take my own life so I wouldn’t have to bear the pain. I love her more than words can express, and I hope that brings your soul rest knowing that she will always be taken care of. Until next time, you beautiful soul.”
I press a kiss to my index and middle finger before holding it up. The breeze picks up a little, making me feel like she grabbed the kiss and ran off with it.
“Do you think we will be ok?” she asks.
I close my eyes, feeling Eleanor all around us.
“Yeah, we will be.”
“What in the fuck is this?”
I startle from a dead sleep at the sound of my very angry father’s voice echoing in the room.
Sitting up, I make sure my breasts are covered as I sit up.
“You aren’t supposed to be here until tomorrow,” falls from my lips before I can think them through.
I wince at the look on my father’s face. He looks like he could murder someone.
“Honk, let me explain,” Bullet starts, but Honk shoots him a glare.
“Baby girl, get cleaned up and wait for me here. You’re grounded. Bullet, you have ten seconds to get out of that bed and on your bike before I put a bullet between your eyes.”
Bullet growls at Honk. “Don’t do this, Honk.”
“I’ll do whatever the fuck I want. You are fucking my daughter in her bed under the roof that I pay for.”
“You mean the one I have been paying for the last two years?” Bullet spits back at my father as he stands in all his naked glory.
My heart is racing in my chest. I have no idea what to do right now. How do I make this better?
“Let’s all calm down,” I say.
“You don’t get to speak right now, young lady. You know the rules about boys in your room. You’ll be lucky if I don’t kill him. He knew the rules, baby girl, he broke them.”
