Page 10 of Bullet
I watch as she walks away with Reaper. Turning to Bullet, I give him a coy smile.
“So should I tell Skyla she can come?” I ask him.
He glares at me. “She will become a sweetbutt and fuck all the brothers. Is that what you want?”
I think about her getting her hands on Bullet, and my stomach sours.
“No. Not really.”
He nods. “Then don’t invite her.”
I frown. “Does it ever get better?”
The question comes from out of nowhere. Bullet doesn’t seem to mind, though.
“It will once you start trying to heal instead of pushing the pain away. Therapy would help. Would you be willing?” he asks.
I want to say no, but his eyes are so hopeful.
“Maybe,” I tell him.
“I’ll set up a session and see if you like it. Are you ready to go?”
I nod, letting him put my helmet on for me. When I climb on the back of his bike behind him, I let all the emotions from the day finally hit me.
I was supposed to do this with my parents at my side. Instead, neither one could show up for me. Some days I wish my dad had been the one to die. It wouldn’t have hurt any less, but I know my mom would have still been here. Instead, I lost two parents in one swoop.
What makes it worse is that my dad is still here. It hurts worse knowing that he is here in flesh and bone, but his mind is long gone. I don’t think I will ever get him back again.
I let the wind wipe away the tears that had fallen as I relish in the freedom I feel on the back of Bullet’s bike.
Life isn’t fair.
Even after Honk stumbled out of Harlee’s graduation, the day has been going well.
I worried she might fall back into that depressive state she’s been in, but she’s been surprisingly happy since we have gotten to the clubhouse. Or at least, it has seemed that way.
I know she won’t magically be better, but every time I see her smile, I think we are taking a step in the right direction.
“If you stare any harder, you’ll burn a hole in the poor girl,” Trigger says as he leans on the bar next to me.
I reluctantly take my eyes off of Harlee to address him. “I’m keeping her safe.”
He laughs. “Oh, I know. That’s why she has a tracking app on her phone she doesn’t know exists. Have you put up cameras at her place yet?”
I glare at him. “I haven’t.”
The thought did cross my mind, though. I won’t admit that to him or anyone else.
“Listen, man, she’s been legal for over a year now. Why haven’t you made your move?” he asks.
“It’s not that simple, and you know it. For one, she’s the daughter of a brother, which means I need to get his permission to date his daughter. I don’t see that happening, and now isn’t really the right time to ask. Two, she is going through grief. She doesn’t need to add a possessive boyfriend to that list. Three, I don’t fucking deserve her.”
I take a drink of the water I’ve been nursing. I refuse to get drunk with her here. Someone needs to keep an eye on her.
“Okay then. Let’s just go through your excuses. One, Honk isn’t present. He can’t consent to you dating her, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. Two, she is going through something, and you have been that rock for her. She always had a crush on you, and now you feel the same way. Shouldn’t that count for something? Three, what the fuck does better even mean? Every single woman we know deserves better. They deserve the fucking best, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t good for them. What they deserve doesn’t exist, but what we can give them is loyalty and safety. They will never want for anything. That is better than some fictional best guy out there.”
“Trig, you don’t get it man.” I shake my head.
