Page 37 of On Dancer
He swept a thumb across my lips, and my heart pounded. This might be the most critical moment of my whole life. And then he kissed me, no more deliberating on my end, simply the sweetest kiss. Alexander had said earlier that he wasn’t kind, but he kissed me with a generosity and tenderness that spoke to an untapped well of goodness.
Maybe you’re special, he’d said earlier. He certainly kissed me like I was. When he performed, his single-minded intensity was almost frightening, but when he turned all that focus my way, the last thing I felt was fear.
And then he stopped, head falling back as he groaned.
“Rudy.” His voice was rough, tortured. “I’m going back to Seattle. I already have a ticket. I’m a very bad choice for your first time.”
“Yeah, well, you’re my choice.” The moment called for decisiveness, so I made my tone firm even as my insides quivered. “Let me make my own choice. I’m not asking forforever. But I want this.” I touched his lips as he’d done mine. “I want it to be you.”
“You deserve…” He trailed off, shaking his head helplessly.
“You. I deserve you. You’re my friend. We care about each other.” I took a breath. He probably wouldn’t own up to the caring, but his actions said otherwise. “And yes, maybe we only have a few more weeks left of the holiday season and your visit, but why waste what time we’ve been given?”
Alexander groaned softly. “It’s hard to argue with you when you look at me like that.”
“Like I want you to kiss me again?” I asked hopefully.
“Like that, yes.” Without further deliberation, he kissed me again. This kiss was full of promise, playful like his earlier teasing, and decidedly erotic as his tongue traced my lips. Heat licked at the base of my spine. I yanked at his layers of blankets, and he helped, opening his arms so I could join him under the covers.
“Oh.” For all that I liked my coffee dessert-level sugary, I’d never tasted anything as sweet as Alexander’s next kiss. And the one after that. His tongue tangled with mine. He was the far more nimble kisser, but I caught on quickly. I ran a hand down his neck, toying with the collar of his robe. Curious, I pressed a kiss on the smooth skin of his neck, scarcely any stubble.
He moaned softly, then yawned. I couldn’t help but chuckle at the absurdity of my luck.
“Are my kisses that boring?” I teased.
“Hardly.” He gave me a swift, deep kiss, leaving me breathless before he pulled away for another yawn. “Damn it. I might be too tired for much more than kissing tonight.”
“It’s all right. There’s always tomorrow.” And for the first time, I truly believed there might be a tomorrow for us, one where we could kiss again and again until the calendar hit the new year.
Nineteen
Sauté:to jump.
Alexander
“Good morning.” Rudy’s voice tickled the edges of my consciousness. The scent of coffee drew me awake.Rudy?In the pool house? Bearing coffee?
I cracked an eye open as memories of the night before came rushing back. I’d had Rudy drive me home. It had been close to midnight when I’d started yawning mid-kissing. With his typical efficiency, Rudy had bundled me off to bed in short order. Well, a few more kisses as he’d tucked me in, but I’d been most of the way toward sleep when he asked if he should take the couch or find a ride back to downtown. I’d impulsively scooted over in the queen bed and told him we could share and head to the theater before people were likely to notice us arriving together.
And now it was a rather alarmingly sunny Sunday morning, and a fully dressed Rudy stood next to the bed bearing two mugsof coffee. I hated that I had zero memory of him sleeping next to me. In fact, the other side of the bed scarcely looked disturbed.
“Did you sleep in here?” I asked blearily as I accepted the coffee. I’d apparently fallen asleep in my bathrobe as well. I had a vague recollection of climbing into the bed, robe and all, rather than bother with pajamas or shock Rudy by dropping the robe.
“Couch.” He blushed. “You offered the bed, but you were already snoring between words. I didn’t want to hold you to that.”
“Admirable, but I wouldn’t have minded sharing.” Another lazy yawn escaped my mouth.
“I wasn’t sure I could trust myself not to cuddle you in my sleep. Wasn’t sure how you’d feel about that.” Eyes downcast, he addressed the coffee, not me.
He was rather clearly expecting me to disavow the kissing from the night before. A smarter person undoubtedly would, but he’d made a convincing argument that we could have this holiday season. Why waste what little time we could have together? My chest twinged with an unfamiliar tightness. I wanted him and more time together in the worst way, ill-advised though it might be. I also hated seeing him uncertain. I set my coffee on the nightstand before patting the bed next to me.
“Sleep cuddles sound interesting.” Few of my lovers had been the sleepover type, and even fewer could be described as cuddly in any way. “Not sure I’ve had that, but maybe we can sneak a few awake cuddles before we have to leave?”
Rudy grinned, relief clear in his eyes, but rather than join me, he pulled out his phone. “If you were serious about arriving before the others, I’m setting another alarm.”
“You’re timing our kissing?” I asked as he perched primly next to me.
“You do have a way of making time disappear.” He leaned in to give me a tentative kiss, but I wasn’t having any of his shyness.He’d set his coffee next to mine, so I yanked him down until he was sprawled half on top of me. A wad of covers and my robe were between us, but I was far more concerned with his mouth. A fling, even a two-week one, was a terrible idea, yet when we kissed, the world fell away. All my doubts and pesky logic fled in the face of this intense connection we shared. Was it because we were also friends? Or was it because of how special a person he was? I wasn’t sure, but the only thing that made sense was to keep kissing him until time ran out. Literally. We ended up hitting snooze on his phone alarm twice and gulping lukewarm coffee on the way to the car.
