Page 40 of On Dancer
“It’s okay.” She shrugged, voice going more pragmatic. “Part of the business, right?”
“It is.” I met her troubled gaze, not sure if I liked her sounding more like me. “And I’m here if you ever have questions about the business or anything else.”
“Thank you.” And with that, she was gone, back to her group of friends, leaving me holding the ornament as Rudy strolled over.
“Victoria gave you an ornament too?” Rudy held up a similar painted wooden ornament, his shaped like an ugly holiday sweater. “Kitty just delivered me this one.”
“Fitting.” I gestured at his green sweater. “You can add it to your collection.”
“I do have quite the collection of sweaters.” He chuckled. “I’m just getting started with ornaments though.”
My chest pinched. An image of Rudy’s little tree drifted through my mind, transforming into a bigger, more impressive tree, Rudy at the center of a happy two-dad family. His tree would be heavy with kid-created ornaments and sentimental favorites, and I hated it and his imaginary husband already.
“We’re almost done here.” Rudy pocketed his ornament before nodding at the dwindling number of volunteers and kids. His eyes kept flitting toward the rear stairs, and he shuffled his feet. “All the helpers made quick work.”
“Are you okay?” I had a strong feeling what his issue was, so I smiled slyly. “You’re twitchier than a strobe light.”
“I know.” He groaned self-consciously. “Do you want to come upstairs after the others leave? For a game or?—”
“Or.” Reaching out, I tilted his face toward mine with my index finger, forcing him to meet my gaze. Rudy’s answering slow smile was worth the risk of the public touch. I let the desire I’d suppressed for weeks lace my voice. “I vote or.”
Twenty-One
Dance belt:the undergarment worn by male dancers that covers the groin area while narrowing to a thin piece of material that passes between the buttocks. Can create a callus at the tailbone from frequent wear.
Rudy
“You’re nervous.” Alexander stated the obvious. I let us into my apartment, and my hand trembled, fumbling the lock. The dance school below was finally empty, all the chaos of performance week done, sets, costumes, props, and dancers all returned to their rightful places. Well, all except the elegant dancer who very much didn’t belong in my little thrift-chic apartment, yet here he was anyway, striding over to my couch to gaze up at me expectantly.
“I’m not nervous.” My protest sounded weak even to my own ears, so I tried again. “Or at least not very.” Alexander greetedthat admission with a pointed stare until I finally held up my hands. “Okay, maybe I’m a little nervous.”
I flopped down next to him, wrung out from both the day and the anticipation.
“Don’t be.” Alexander took my hand in his. “And we don’t have?—”
I cut him off with a warning noise. “Please don’t say we don’t have to do this.”
I’d looked forward to this moment all damn day, and no way was I letting my sudden attack of nerves keep it from me.
“We don’t have to do anything you’re not up for right now.” Alexander’s deft sidestep earned another frustrated sound from me, but he continued undeterred. “There are a lot of ways to make each other feel good, and we don’t have to do your whole wishlist tonight.”
“I do have a rather lengthy wishlist,” I conceded. I’d certainly waited enough years for this moment to amass quite a collection of fantasies, an alarming number starring Alexander. Perhaps going slower rather than racing for my bedroom was the answer to the pounding in my chest. “Is that your way of saying we have until New Year’s?”
“We have until New Year’s.” He leaned in to kiss my forehead before frowning. “I’m still worried about hurting you.”
“Don’t.” I said the word lightly, but the truth was that he already held my heart. His return to Seattle would leave a scar, no matter how much I wanted this in the here and now. If I admitted that, though, he’d likely run, so I kept the casual tone going. “Don’t worry about what comes later. My mother always says not to borrow trouble. Let’s enjoy what we do have.”
I punctuated the request with a quick kiss, one that Alexander seized control of and deepened until we were both breathless.
“You are rather convincing.” He smiled at me, the rare full-on Alexander happy grin, and my chest filled and lifted. Trouble, including my impending heartache, could wait until after the new year, especially when Alexander claimed my mouth again. Right now was for kissing and enjoying. To that end, Alexander plucked my glasses off my face and set them aside on the end table. “There. That’s better.”
I clung to his shoulders as he explored my mouth, finding unexpected nerve endings. Under my tongue. Along the inside of my lower lip. The roof of my mouth. Everything tingled, and my hands moved restlessly from his shoulders to the collar of his gray dress shirt. He shivered as I ran a finger around the collar, along his neck. Emboldened, I ran a hand down his torso, and he sucked in a harsh breath.
“Is this okay?” I stopped my hand’s descent to toy with the buttons over his chest.
“It’s very much okay.” Alexander stretched up toward my hand. “Touch me anywhere you’d like.”
“Anywhere?” I undid the first button on his shirt, more than a little giddy at being given such blanket permission.
