Page 49 of On Dancer
“You do clean up well.” Rudy’s expression stayed guarded. “And the chance for a selfie with us all dressed up isn’t a terrible idea. I’ll go.”
“Good.” I offered him a warm smile before wiggling so I could take a small envelope from my pocket. “And this isn’t nearly so meaningful, but I do have something for you.”
He opened it to reveal a gift card to the game store where I’d preordered him the upcomingOdysseyset release.
“Thank you.” His tone was decidedly wistful. “You won’t be here to play it, but I’ll think of you and your bloodthirsty ways when I put together some new decks.”
“You do that.” And if he thought of me so much that there was no room for thinking of certain teachers, well, that was a nice bonus.
Unexpected longing hit deep in my chest. I wanted to be here to play the new decks with him in the worst way. My brain jumped to schedules and weekends off, but I pushed the thought away. I’d seen long-distance relationships go horribly wrong too many times to wish that on Rudy.
And even if I limped away from this with a wounded heart, this was still among my favorite Christmases.
Twenty-Six
En dehors:to move away from the supporting leg.
Rudy
Christmas Eve dragged on, a slow march until I could escape with Alexander as he’d promised. However, dinner had been followed by a present exchange, and now, I was stuck helping clean up the family room, no Alexander in sight.
“I don’t know how I’m expected to survive.” Kitty, who’d arrived earlier in the afternoon with both her parents, swooned onto the sofa next to me, complete with one arm over her head and a combat boot dangling off the edge of the couch.
“You’ll have to be more specific.” Swallowing back a chuckle, I tried for a curious but sympathetic tone.
“Victoria leaving in the summer.” Kitty’s long-suffering sigh said I should have guessed what her despair was over. “It’s all I can think about. She’s only been gone two days to visit hergrandma in Pittsburgh, and I miss her so much. How am I going to survive saying goodbye for real?”
That was similar to the question I kept asking myself, but I wasn’t about to share my own drama with Kitty. I wasn’t ready for this season to end, and every scrap of wrapping paper I shoved into the trash bag made me that much more depressed.
“You’ve got six months.” I pitched my voice as reassuring as I could. “My mother always says?—”
“Don’t borrow trouble.” Kitty offered me an epic eye roll. “I know. But the winter formal was magical.” Fishing out her phone, she held up a picture of her and Victoria in glittery party dresses. “And now, I’m not sure how I’m supposed to give her up.”
Ouch. I knew the feeling well, as that thought had dogged my every movement for the last forty-eight hours or so. How was I supposed to give up something so sweet? It felt like we were barely getting started. I wanted more time together, more practice at sex, more holidays. More Alexander.
I inhaled sharply. “Maybe you can?—”
“Don’t say visit.” Kitty cut me off with a raised hand. “That’s what Victoria keeps saying, and everyone knows that never works out.” She sounded far older than most high school juniors. “Victoria will be off at boarding school, then her ballet apprenticeship, and I’ll be stuck at regular high school and then college for costume design. Two different worlds.”
“Not entirely.” I sank down on the floor next to the couch, still holding the trash bag. My mind drifted to Alexander’s invitation for New Year’s Eve. He wanted me to attend a fancy party with ballet people. And he’d been right at home with my gamer friends. Maybe our worlds weren’t so different after all. Despite Kitty’s instant dismissal of the idea of visits, the thought refused to leave my brain. “And there’s video chat and calls andtrains and airplanes. It doesn’t have to mean the end of your friendship.”
“You’re trying to help.” Reaching over, Kitty gave my arm a motherly pat. “And I appreciate it. But some things aren’t meant to be.” Kitty’s voice wavered. I knew that same painful truth well myself. “That’s what I’m sad over. I understand I have to let her go, but it’s going to hurt.”
“Yeah.” My voice came out weak. I was the worst person to offer advice here. “Have you talked to Victoria?”
“All we do is talk.” Kitty offered me an arch look. “But I can’t ask her to stay. That wouldn’t be fair. And if I tell her how sad I am, she’ll feel guilty when she needs to be focusing on her auditions.”
“I get it.” Lord, did I ever. I didn’t want to burden Alexander with my deepest emotions or a pointless guilt trip. Searching for any distraction, I fiddled with the box for a new board game Tavio and Irina had gifted me.
“I know you do.” Kitty’s soulful look said she might have guessed I had more than friendly feelings for Alexander. Tone brightening, she pointed at the box. “That game looks fun. I helped my dad pick it out.”
“Thanks. Want to play?” We both needed the distraction, and the box promised a fast-paced camel-racing game for all ages. I could spare a few more minutes, especially if it cheered Kitty up.
“Us too.” Waylon’s three kids chose that moment to rush into the room.
“Let’s do teams so the littles each have someone older to play with.” Kitty spoke like a seasoned babysitter. She made her way to the large farmhouse-style dining table at the end of the room closest to the kitchen. As I followed her lead, she motioned at someone behind me. “Alexander, come join us. We need you.”
“You need me?” He strode over to the table with a bemused smile.
