Page 106 of Unbreakable
“Jeannie,” I whispered, leaning forward to smash her to me. Then I pushed her back. “Really? This is ours? It worked?”
“It’s ours,” she nodded, tears misting her eyes. “It worked.”
My hand covered my mouth, breathing through the cracks in my fingers. I was elated and terrified all at once. Yes, we were trying, but you never really know how you feel about something until it’s actually happening. Each month that went by, I didn’t know what to do. She’d always tell me when she was on her period, but the days leading up to when her period would have started were tense. As I learned, so many period symptoms mimic early pregnancy symptoms. It’s a high-stakes mental gamble, once a month.
But now it was here. I’d been out of town for a playoff game. It wasn’t a deciding game, so Jeannie opted to stay home. I hadn’t been there for the period suspense this time. “I don’t know what to say, J.”
Her face dropped. “You’re happy, right?”
I nodded, pulling her close again. “So happy, baby,” I said into her ear. “How are you feeling?”
“Happy. A little nauseated.”
“That’s a good thing, right?”
“I think so,” she said, her smile dimming. “I’m kinda scared too. It’s hard to get excited when you know how it can end. But then you feel bad not being excited, so you let yourself have hope—all with the possibility that it could fall apart. ”
I rubbed her leg. “I get it. I’m scared too. But it’s you and me.”
“You and me against the world,” she said. “And maybe this little peanut.”
“Babe,I don’t want to rush you, but I think we’re going to have to start telling people soon.”
We were sitting on the couch one afternoon, having just finished lunch and about to go to bed for my pre-game nap. It was the pre-season, and she hadn’t been pregnant long before the last season ended. Before that, we had a tradition of fucking before my naps, but she was showing no desire to do that—or have any sex for that matter. At first, she said she wanted to wait twelve weeks since that’s when statistically the pregnancy would be more in the clear. It was sixteen weeks that day, and she hadn’t shown any inclination to want to pick sex back up. I was patient because the worst-case scenario would be us losing the pregnancy and her blaming it on sex.
And that might be the end of not only sex, not only us, but of Jeanine too. She was too fragile. I had to respect her need for space.
But I was sad. She didn’t want me anymore, or maybe she did, but she was afraid. The doctor told us it was safe, but that seemed to not matter to Jeanine. She’d given me one hand job in the last few months. I’m not saying my wife should have been my sex servant, but I wanted her to want to play with me that way.
She just didn’t.
“Chappy and Rachel know,” she argued. “Does anyone else need to know? Is it their business?”
“Well, probably not. But I’m excited and I want to share it. People want to share our joy.”
Jeannie put a protective hand over her stomach, which was really starting to show at that point. It wasn’t going to be a secret much longer. “Do we have to tell your parents?”
Silence cut through the room, and J stared at the floor. “I think they’d like to know they’re having a grandbaby.”
“What if we tell everybody and then we lose again?” she whispered.
I put my arm around her. “Then we’ll have our friends and family to hold us up.”
She sniffed and nodded, swiping her finger under her nose.
“It’s sixteen weeks, baby. The doctor said everything looks healthy.”
“I know,” she said. “It’s just not as joyful this way, when you know what can go wrong.”
“You’re right,” I said, kissing her cheek. “It’s not. But maybe we need to try to find the joy. This little baby deserves that. We need to celebrate the good stuff.”
Jeanine turned to me, her face so close to mine. “My sunny boy,” she said, rubbing our noses together. Her fingers grazed my cheek and her eyes dropped to my lips. Softly, slowly, her lips brushed mine. I let us draw apart slowly, then waited. Would she kiss me more?
Yes, she would. Jeanine laced her fingers behind my neck and crawled into my lap, straddling me and grinding against me. Right when I was about to ask if she missed me, she spoke.
“I missed this so much, Dylan.”
“I missed you so bad, baby. You sure you’re ready?”
